Friday, October 31, 2008
Anybody else having a hard time getting their kids to eat breakfast this morning? I should have cooked up something special, but the bus arrives before 7:00 am for this kindergartner...so no hot breakfast.
Posted by Goob at 7:12 AM
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Ye killed my grandmother. That is, my grandmother of 13 generations past. True, ye did not lay thine hands upon her, nor literally tie the noose upon her neck, but ye shook, ye trembled, ye went into fits. Ye convinced the magistrate of her wickedness. Ye caused her to be hanged. I wonder, do ye dwell in that place ye hath presumed to have sent her?
Dark portions of my soul are stirred up by the story of my Great-Great-etc Grandmother. I wonder, what was it about her that made her a target for the deadly accusations? Was she opinionated? Not easily bullied? Difficult to get along with? Ugly? Is there a part of her that lives on in me? I do not believe that she danced with the devil, cast sinister spells, nor gave suck to any fiend. I do believe she knew she could save her life if she would say that she had. She must have been a stubborn woman. She must have been a woman disinclined to deceit. She must have been tremendously complex and disheartened by the society in which she lived. I wonder, how did she deal with the lies, the outlandish accusations? She is on record as having laughed at the display of "fits" her accusers made at her trial. I imagine it was an accusatory laughter, and it probably was meant to send chills down the spines of the young liars standing before her. I imagine that in her elderly state she had lost any semblance of beauty. I imagine that her accusors were in their prime. I imagine there's a whole lot more to this story than I ever will know, and I imagine, that I'm a whole lot more like Susannah Martin than I ever wanted to be.
I know how angering it is to be accused of something I have not done. I know how frustrating it is to think that people believe I've done something unacceptable, and to not have any words to convince them otherwise. I know what its like to make my own defense and have it unheard. But for me, the consequence was not death. And so, I am lucky. One day, I hope to have a long conversation with Susannah. She fascinates me.
Posted by Goob at 7:30 AM
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
http://greenjellosalad.blogspot.com/ The more I read it the more I'm certain its satire. And if its not...heaven help us all.
Posted by Goob at 10:45 PM
There is this new blog that I have been reading and I'm totally confused by it. I am 85.9% certain that its satire, but then, there's so much detail in the stories, that I start to wonder if its for real. (it is not TAMN btw, hers is way too obviously satire and I dont' feel bad at all for playing along.) But my problem with this new blog that I*think* is satire, is I want to play along, and I want to laugh hysterically, but I am scared to death that I am going to make a complete ass of myself if I tell her how hysterical she is, and it turns out she's not trying to be funny at all, and this is her actual life. There is one significant clue that this may be satire, all of her blogs listed as "inspiration" are satire...so, its got to be, right? I'm not callouse and rude if I laugh along with her ridiculously ridiculous family life, right?
Posted by Goob at 3:52 PM
Remember about 6 weeks ago I started the South Beach Diet? Well, I was excited because I lost 5 lbs the first 8 days. Now, 6 full weeks later, and only 2 "cheat days" in the mix, I have not lost a single ounce more than that original 5 lbs. I will say, I feel healthier and happier eating these foods that are much closer to the Word of Wisdom, I'm just not losing any wieght. However, I have to be honest and admit that I am not exercising. On the other hand, JP and I joined the gym Saturday night and I'm looking forward to getting to work at the gym. Last year I really got into the grove with regular exercise and it became such an important part of my daily routine. I'm looking forward to having that in my life again.
Sunday, October 26, 2008
All explained Here. I think this is my new "self help" tool. I feel on cloud nine right now. Or maybe its the Sabbath Breaking Diet Coke I had...(Sabbath Breaking because it involved a trip to Jack in the Box to get it).
Speaking of, that's how I know its time to cut out the Diet Cola...when I have to break the Sabbath to satisfy my craving.
Posted by Goob at 10:15 PM
I understand, on Friday, you were burnt out and needed to call in an early weekend. Saturday, you had refreshed yourself and worked beautifully. Now it is Sunday, and you must have partied a little too hard last night. Please, take care of yourself, and come back to work Monday ready for an outstanding week.
Mrs. Cave Hair.
Posted by Goob at 8:24 AM
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Time of Event: 3:00am-8:00am
Place of Event: Cave Hair Home, kitchen, guestroom
Summary of Events: Upon arising at zero-three-hundred hours a tiny-wild-haired-blonde entered various portions of the Cave Hair home. She stopped at each entrance and flipped each switch, resulting in electricity being activated to all lighting devices. The tiny-wild-haired-blonde continued through the home until she arrived at the Cave Hair guest room/play room. There she activated square entertainment device, which resulted in stupefied paralysis of tiny-wild-haired-blonde.
Having been awoken by light and noise coming from various parts of the Cave Hair home, Mr. Cave Hair began a search of the premises, resulting in location of tiny-wild-haired-blonde. Mr. Cave Hair was able to identify tiny-wild-haired-blonde as "Lily" youngest member of the Cave Hair clan.
After rescuing Lily from the grips of the square entertainment device she was returned to her bed and asked to return at a later hour for questioning.
At an unknown time, the same tiny way-farer made her way into the Cave Hair kitchen and or pantry. There she found sweet and sour sauce and maple syrup. A sampling of said condiments commenced. It is unknown whether condiments were enjoyed. At least one condiment ( maple syrup ) was taken back to guest room/play room and used for an unknown purpose (body wash? finger paint? carpet cleaner?)
at approximately 0600 hours, the older brother of the perpetrator entered the Cave Hair master bedroom to establish the fact that blood was escaping from his left foot. A small amount of blood was identified by Mrs. Cavehair as belonging to the same child reporting the blood. A bandage was applied, and the child was asked to go back to bed and return at a later hour for questioning.
At approximately 0800 hours, Lily re-entered the master bedroom. It was at this time that the maple syrup incident was discovered. The child smelled strongly of High Fructose Corn Syrup, Corn Syrup, Water, Salt, Cellulose Gum, Molasses, Potassium Sorbate (Preservative), Sodium Hexametaphosphate, Natural and Artifical Flavor (Caramel Color, Corn Syrup), Artificial Flavor, Citric Acid, Caramel Color, Mono and Diglycerides. Child was also noted to be covered in something sticky, resulting in various lint and hair being attached to places like the bottom of her feet. Knowing the answer to the question, Mr. Cavehair asked the child "what have you been eating?"
Lily "I had a breakfast jack"
Mr. Cavehair "where did you get a breakfast jack?"
Mr. CaveHair "How did Gabe get you a breakfast jack?"
Lily "at MacDonalds"
Mr Cavehair "oh, how did you get to McDonalds? did Gabe drive you there?"
mother cavehair "did he drive safely?"
mother cavehair "did the police get him?"
mother cavehair "where is he now? jail?"
Mr. Cavehair "Gabe! Come here!"
Gabe "yes dad"
Mr. Cavehair "which car did you drive to McDonalds?"
Gabe "WHAT?! giggle giggle giggle"
Mr Cavehair repeats question
Gabe "I didn't go to McDonalds!"
"Lily is lying!"
"and see, I have blood!"
Mrs. Cavehair "Do you know how I know you are telling the truth?"
Gabe "no, how?"
Mrs. Cavehair "because everybody knows you can only get a breakfast jack at Jack in the Box!" tickle, tickle, tickle.
Posted by Goob at 11:10 AM
Friday, October 24, 2008
The following is an actual posting to my local freecycle group (*I added the link to Wikipedia.)
"If anyone has a didgeridoo they no longer want, please let me know.
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Halloween just hasn't been the same since 1984. That was the year I was 12. That was also the year my mother decided 12 was too old to go trick-r-treating! To this day, that is one rule I just don't agree with. Now, 16, 17, 18, yep, too old. Go find something better to do. Adult? Grandma? You bet I've got a pack of raisins for ya! But 12? I was heart broken. I just couldn't believe I wouldn't be allowed to accompany my 3 siblings on the annual candy-grab.
That may actually have also been the year I insisted on being a (get this) DRUID for halloween. What the heck does a druid look like? To me, it was alot like a goth ghost....It involved an old white sheet from a recycled Angel costume, safety pins turned into jewelry and dark eyes. I'm really not sure why safety pins were involved, but I do remember they were a key component to actually being an unmistakable druid and not being taken for a ghost ( a ghost was so childish). I'm turning red with embarrassment as I type this, and suddenly I find it perfectly clear as to why I was not allowed to Trick-r-treat that year...
***I just have to add this little peice of weirdness! My counter hit 1984 for my post about 1984. Spooooooooooky.....LOL
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Its that time of year when Bats and Ghosts and mysterious packages of treats accompanied by ill-written poems mysteriously appear at your door. Being new in our neightborhood, we decided to kick off the tradition of door-bell ditching treats since it didn't seem like anybody else was going to do it.
What we didn't know is that 5 year olds were not born knowing how to Door Bell Ditch. Not having been a 5 year old in some time, neither hubby or I realized that a 5 year old needed to be taught the proper way to door bell ditch and were totally unprepared for the following events.
Let M stand for Mom
D for Dad
G for Gabe
L for Lily
(the big girls were not present for this event)
M "Ok, lets head out the door, do we have the treats?"
D "Do we have the poem?"
G "I got it" (heads out the door and books it up the street)
G "I'm almost there"
L "Carry Me"
M "Gabe STOP!"
D "Gabe, get back here"
L "Carry Me"
G "I'm looking both ways!"...crosses street
M (whisper screaming now so as not to bring the whole neighborhood out) "Gabe,WAIT FOR US"
G approaches door, places box on porch, runs away.
D "Gabe, you have to go back and ring the door bell and THEN run away and HIDE
M "Try it again, and take the poem with you this time"
L "Carry Me"
G runs up to door, rings bell, knocks on door, runs away, hides behind bush, waits for door to open, hops out from behind bush and SCREAMS "SUUUUUUUUURPRIIIIIIIIISE!"
Then proceeds to run away in circles screaming, "Mom, Dad, Mom, Dad! Where are you? I think I"m lost!"
Neighbor "Gabe, where are your parents"
M & D coming out of their hiding places with Lily in tow ( who amazingly was totally silent while being held in a horizontal hanging position from moms arm while squatting behind a bush) "Gabe, you are the WORST Burgler in all of history!"
Obviously we had to go explain all of this to our neighbor friends who were totally confused by this whole transaction, them never having heard of getting "ghosted" "spooked" "Tricked" or any other form of Halloween prank that involves door-bell ditching. It was too much fun, and I came to realize, that a son who's bad at sneaking is a good son to have!
Monday, October 20, 2008
You know that crazy comment we all got about mind manipulating radio-waves etc, etc?
Does anybody find it coincidental that on the same day we got that post, in my husbands in-box at work was a little tiny card laminated to be hung on a lanyard that said to wear at all times and turn in to his supervisor if he suspected he'd been subjected to radioactivity...I'm buying stock in Reynolds Wrap!
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Recently, because of a change in my work schedule, my husband has found himself being somewhat of a "house-husband". (He works a very manly job at night, but since I'm gone every afternoon, and he's awake, the kids come home to him) He recently told me this story about a problem that occurred and the solution he came up with.
Apparently, Gabe thought it would be dang hilarious to make farting noises during the dinner prayer. (I don't remember not being home for dinner, but ok.) Obviously that was inappropriate, and disturbed the atmosphere of reverence that normally surrounds that dinner prayer. Ok, that might be stretching it a bit, but it was definitely inappapropriate. So, in attempts to combat future scatalogical interruptions to the evening liturgy, JP required Gabe to make the afore mentioned sound at least one time before every bite he took of his dinner. It is reported that after approximately 3 bites, it was no longer fun and Gabe, nearly in tears, begged to not have to make the sound anymore and to be able to just eat his dinner.
I have to say, if I had been present, I probably would have A: laughed at the noise, and B: told him not to do that again, and then just ignored it. However, my way probably would not have been very effective, and almost certainly would have resulted in an entire evening meal full of musical interludes. And so...hats off to JP for creative parenting!
Saturday, October 18, 2008
When I went in search of discovering what my 4th picture in my 4th folder was, I had no intention of actually posting it, but when I discovered it is one of my very favorite pictures of Em and Gabe, I just had to put it up.
Posted by Goob at 7:22 AM
So, you all remember how I thought Lily was holding out for another trip to McDonalds to use the potty for me again? Well, she kept ding-donging me all morning about going to McDonalds saying "I wanna go a MacDonoh's" over, and over and over again. In a moment of frustration, I answered back, "Well, I want a child that uses the toilet to poop in!"...not 5 minutes later, she put herself on the toilet and pooped...proof positive that she was blackmailing me. I think I'm going to take the suggestion of purchasing a toy with multiple parts that she has to earn peice by peice and lose a piece if she soils her pants. I think that might work better than this McDonalds business.
Friday, October 17, 2008
This is SO wrong.
*edit it runs in the family. Here's Big Sis this past summer
Thursday, October 16, 2008
When I recieved that bright red plastic strapless bra looking thing in the mail as part of a "Buzz" campaign for Smuckers Uncrustables. ( You sign up, promise to try free stuff, sometimes tell them you don't want to try some stuff, then talk about the stuff you like)the first thing I did was "try it on" my husband laughed and we decided to see what my two year old would do with it. She wasn't impressed, she was very busy running her own program at the time. After looking at it for a few days I decided it was a random enough looking little container that it would be fun to see if anybody could guess what it is. I haven't actually tried the sandwhiches yet ( I thought it would be more fun to make the coupon for a free box part of the prize) but my son reports that when he buys lunch at school, sometimes he chooses one of these sandwhices instead of the hot lunch. ( How Stoked am I that I spend 2.60 for a hot lunch for him and he asks for Pb&J?..which we ALWAYs have ample supply of at home) He likes them and thinks they are pretty cool...he is 5, for what its worth.
He has begged me to buy him some ever since the coupon and container came in the mail. I am a mean mom and went and bought veggies and meat at Costco and haven't gone to the regular grocery store yet. Oh well. Anyways, if you love these, or think you'd love to try these (Kristina said they deep fat fry these at the fair...that sounds deadly)post a comment saying you'd like a $.75 off coupon (that's $1.00 off if your store doubles) and I'll arrange to send you one by mail. In the meantime, I have a whining kid to take care of who wonders why I haven't bought his dang uncrustables yet!
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Wendy for coming up with the nearest to correct answer. She thought its used to cut the crusts off of sandwiches...in reality, its a Smucker's Uncrustables Sandwich Container. So, since its used to STORE crustless sandwiches, she wins the container, AND a coupon for 1 free 4 pack box of Smuckers Uncrustables Sandwiches, the ultimate, "I'm so busy, I don't even have time to slap some PB&J on a slice of white bread" convenience food.
Things can go horribly wrong.
Example: "Who my Bitches?"
Translation: "Where are my pictures?"
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
In honor of yesterday being Skeptics Day ( I had to do a little research on that, I wasn't sure I believed Oct 13th really was ever established as skeptics day) I think we ought to have a parade.
I'll be the majorette, you all fall in step and leave your parade of skeptical thoughts in the comments section.
I don't believe for even 2 minutes that the reason for photo radar is safety. What is safe about bright flashing strobe lights at night which blind drivers and cause them to stand up on their brakes because they're not sure what just happened? Did a UFO just land? Is that an emergency vehicle coming up behind me? Did a deranged mountain man just launch an RPG at me? Photo radar is not about safety. Its about INCOME. What better way to get a little extrta cash than to post a little ol' camera out in the middle of nowhere? Now, I'm not saying anybody has the right to speed. Speeding is done with an inherent risk, including the risk of getting caught. What I'm saying is, when cities and states install these things in areas where they know they'll get hits, its not because they're hoping they don't catch anybody speeding and that all they find is drivers proceeding cautiously. They can't pay for the camera if it never generates a fine. It can only generate a fine if it catches a speeder. These cameras are liked becuase they are the shakedown bots of King Richard. I know they are used to shake people down because your fine is delivered to you in an unmarked envelope, with nothing more than your picture and a bill. No contact info, no "how to fight this" info, nothing. Just your picture and a statement of how much money to send if you want the blackmail to stop. What will be the next step? They show your husband?...oh...Or maybe...your husband hired them to catch you in the act!
***Nobody has correctly Named that Household Item yet...anymore guesses? I know ya'll are dyin to win a red-plastic hinged thingamabobber to add to your household treasures...The "contest" will be open till Wednesday at 12:00noon. Common people, take this seriously! *said with all the enthusiasm of a circus clown.
At Vanessa's Super Fabulous 34th Birthday Celebration! (it comes with prizes!)
Posted by Goob at 6:45 AM
Monday, October 13, 2008
Posted by Goob at 8:31 PM
I should have waited till after Lily pooped her pants the 3rd time today to do a "3 Rants and a Rave" post...trust me, there were three distinct rants. I think she's blackmailing me for another trip to McDonalds. She pooped in the potty, got her trip to Micky-D's and basically hasn't done it since. I really, TRULY think she's blackmailing me.
Posted by Goob at 8:27 PM
Its time for the first ever installment of 3 Rants and a Rave! Wanna play along? Click on the link below to see the Blog I'm Raving about, and leave her a comment! Then post your own 3 Rants and a Rave to send your readers to a blog you think they'll love but maybe haven't found yet.
Rant 1: well, its already written below under "Its wasn't ok then, and its not ok now"...I'm still steamed on that one.
Rant 2: People who think the Fire Lane is actually just a "I'm running in really quick so I don't need to actually get myself a real parking spot" lane need to have their drivers' licenses revoked. Its for EMERGENCY vehicles people, and saving your fat butt a few measely steps of "Unintentional Exercise" is not an EMERGENCY! If you keep on being that lazy, eventually, the emergency vehicles will be there for your stroke and or heart attack, but they won't be able to get to you, because you've parked your car in the Fire Lane.
Rant 3: Children who do not stay in their beds after they've been put to bed for the night. As a mother, I find its important to have an established bedtime routine. Our routine actually starts at dinner. We have dinner, then we have baths. Clean underwear and Pajamas are doned, and teeth are brushed. Scripture reading and Family prayers round out the nightly routine. Bedtime then follows with hugs, kisses, fans turned on, lights turned out, and all manor of different animals and dolls tucked in with each child. This is the end of the routine~! Who added the part where the kids each get up 3 times? After 8:00pm I am no longer interested in who's toys are in the wrong bedroom, who didn't get one more kiss, or who forgot to brush their teeth and or get one last drink. These are NOT part of the Nightly Routine! (* and yet, they still happen nightly)
***Rave!***-Check out the Sartori Story. It'll make you laugh, cry and wonder why! ( and it happens to be full of some of the best rants I've read.)
***Also, be sure to enter your guess on the "Name that Household Item" entry below...you could be the lucky winner! LOL
Sunday, October 12, 2008
If you can name this household item, you win it! Yes, I know, you're SO excited! How's that for a cheesy contest?! (first one to name it correctly is the winner. If you received one of these in the mail for the same reason I did, you can't win!)
10 years ago, California had an issue on the ballot. I was young and not entirely sure of my political preferences at the time.
I was pretty put off by all the talks at church that started out with "The church remains politically neutral"...but then continued on with "but this is how you need to vote."
I came home one afternoon and found that somebody had done me the service of arranging for a political sign to be posted prominently in my front yard, far enough back onto the property that somebody would have to be tresspassing A: to put it there in the first place, and B: to steal it if they disagreed with the statement the sign made.
I was UNHAPPY to say the least that somebody was so presumptuous as to come onto my property and place a political sign of any nature, let alone a very controversial one, in my yard.
Well, here we are, 10 years later, and in an entirely different state , and its happened again.
This time, I'm sure of my political persuasion, and I happen to agree with the message the sign placed in my yard sends, but I am INCENSED that somebody again presumed that it would be ok with me to place a political sign in my yard without first talking to me about it.
I'm also tired of the "The church remains politcally neutral, but..." talks.
So, if you are the person assigned in your ward to contact every person in your ward without using the ward list to make sure that they intend to vote a certain way, even though the church remains politically neutral, ASK PERMISSION before placing yard signs in people's yards!
Posted by Goob at 11:10 AM
Saturday, October 11, 2008
Yes, that's a new profile pic. and yes, that's a moustache. My husband says its part of "the uniform". Which uniform could that be? I dunno, but all his co-workers were growing 'staches, but their wives made them shave. Does this mean that I'm the only wife that loves my husband enough to let him grow a moustache? Or does mean that he's the only husband that doesn't give a crap what his wife thinks? Maybe, the truth is, we are just the only ones ridiculous enough to think its funny to drive people insane with moustaches and wet willies.
Posted by Goob at 10:00 PM
The meaning of carpet named "By Day or by Night"
Wood flooring named "Ringing Anvil"
Paints named "Silent Breath" and "Teal me no lies"
what I really want to know is "How do I get a job naming things?"
I think I could do it! What kind of a degree does it require? Do I just need a knack for random word production?
Lets give it a try.
"Termite Have Bugs"
"Nigerian Money Scam"
"Soy Protien Isolate"
Posted by Goob at 10:44 AM
Friday, October 10, 2008
On September 23rd, I applied for a new driver's license in my new state of residence. The application required the usual personal information plus my SSN. I registered to vote at the same time as I applied for my new license.
Interestingly enough, I received a letter in the mail yesterday thanking me for applying for a credit card I did not qualify for. A Credit Card? I didn't apply for a credit card. My husband did not apply for a credit card...hmmm. When did I apply for a credit card?
Apparently "I" applied for a credit card on September 23rd.
I've been here 6 months. Nothing like this has happened until the same day I applied for a drivers license and registered to vote. Coincidence? I doubt it.
Follow up- *yes, I did make angry phone calls...which turned into me making a jerk of myself.
Read below for the explanation on that.
*as it turns out, it was NOT the DMV, but it was my dentists office...applying for credit for me to make payments on dental work. They had me sign something, but I had no idea they were running a credit report or applying for credit! grrrrr. The kicker is, they applied for the credit, when they have the ability to split payments in house without involving credit. Why did they not offer that? I suppose its a "business decision"...Ie: they make money from the credit company if they qualify you for credit instead of just offering splitting your payments. Oh well. I will say this, my dentist himself was pretty good and kept me giggling with songs like "Oompa-Loompa-Doopity-Dawesome, that Filling turned out Totally Awesome"
Posted by Goob at 8:15 AM
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Hi-what ya doin?
what you doin?
Could I get you to do a big favor for me?
Could you iron me a pair of work pants?
I split mine.
why's that funny?
glad I could humor you
yeah, ok, when do you need them?
My husband splitting his pants at work is almost as funny as this.
Posted by Goob at 7:30 AM
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
If THIS doesn't make your blood boil, you're not alive.
It makes me want to say swear words.
Posted by Goob at 3:20 PM
Kid Rock is singing Sweet Home Alabama to a Werewolves of London lick...I'm confused.
Kid Rock + Sweet Home Alabama...I can accept.
Kid Rock + Warren Zevon=disconnect...its like Leona Whats-her-name + Robert Plant...what???
These are things that confuse me and make me irritable, probably because they highlight how near to death I truly am, since only an old-fart would even recognize Werewolves of London, let alone know who sung it...arrgh, stick a fork in me. ( or would you rather Gag me with a spoon?)
Posted by Goob at 7:10 AM
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
We all have those moments as parents when we wish we could just disappear. The problem is, we almost never CAN just disappear. Here is a decade old story about a certain 2 year old who will remain semi-anonymous. Lets just call her "Og" that sounds like a good Cave Hair name.
So, "Og" was 2 and it was time to potty train. I've never been one for pull-ups, I think they give the kids a sort of "permission" to have accidents and prolong the training period. So, when potty training a two year old, I always carry along extra panties, but what, oh what do you do when "Og" has already splashed through the 3 extra sets you brought and you're still waiting in an excruciatingly slow Dr's office for another child's checkup? You let "Og" go commando...yes that's right, bunderless. This can present a problem when "Og" is wearing a dress. In particularly, because if "Og" were to say, have a bowel movement while dressed ( or not dressed) in this manner there would be nothing to hold it in,up off the floor.
So, I will admit, that I am not always right on top of what my children are doing at any given moment. I have been known to pick up a magazine and read it while my children are playing in a play area, and that is exactly what I was doing this fine day when I started smelling an awful smell. I checked my shoes, nothing there, must be my imagination. I returned to my reading. Then a horrible ruckus errupted next to me when a small child threw a memorable temper tantrum because she wanted to go play in the play area. The father insisted that she could NOT play over there, no matter what. Finally, after much persistence the child demanded to know why, and the father said, quite loudly, "Because somebody POOPED OVER THERE". I went running over to grab my own fragile children away from the area where some disgusting child pooped on the floor only to find one clothed in a rather wet dress. Yes, the one who was going commando! ( which, frankly, I had forgotten about)Oh shoot, Oh shoot, this did not happen...oh yes it did! The lovely 12" turd laying on the floor of the pediatricians play area shared DNA with my lovely "Og". Off to the ladies room to clean up. We had nothing left but a baby blanket to wear. No underwear, no diaper, no dress. Just a baby blanket. But "Og"s older sister needed to see the Dr. We couldn't reschedule. So we re-entered the waiting room, dressed roman style in a baby blanket just in time to see a disembodied hand reach through a station at the service counter to distribute a lengthy spray of Lysol disinfectant and air-freshener into the waiting room. I don't know who picked up the poop, it was gone when I came back for it. Obviously everybody knew it was me, obviously everybody could see that I was ill-prepared for an all day outing with a potty training two year old, and obviously I wanted to crawl under the chair and die.
But I didn't.
Posted by Goob at 7:07 AM
Sunday, October 5, 2008
"Because their hearts were knit they were magnified in their power."-Henry B. Eyering Oct 5th General Conference address.
Join us a here for thoughts and actions intended to draw Sisters into a Spiritually, Emotionally, and Physically healthy lifestyle, that we might become "Fit for Service" in the Lord's work. Unity, Understanding, Appreciation and Love are among the building blocks for success in this group. Together we can become magnified in our power to serve.
Posted by Goob at 8:20 PM
Saturday, October 4, 2008
Part one of my monthly installment.
Mother to normally slovenly son-"I need you to dress up tonight"
Posted by Goob at 9:01 PM
Friday, October 3, 2008
So, as you all know, about 10 days ago, I started the South Beach diet. Its been great, I've only had perhaps 2 occassions that it felt difficult. Otherwise, I've been happy to obey the ph1 diet commandments, and I've been rewarded for it. 5 lbs lost by day 8 seems like a nice reward for not eating cookies.
Last night we went to my MIL's house. The kids needed a visit, we wanted to go swimming, and somehow, we've managed to be there every time there's a political debate ( more on that later) so we figured, might as well make a tradition of it. My FIL was very generous to offer pizza for dinner. Not freezer pizza, but real, greasy, carb laden, salty, delicious pizza. I ate it. I honestly did not want to be ungrateful, and I really did not comprehend the way it would effect me today.
This is how I feel this morning.
I'm also a full 2 lbs heavier, thank you very much to Ham and Pepperoni.
I was literally dry-heaving on the way home from the kid's dentist appointment, because I was so hungry. The dentist is across the street from a brand new Dunkin' Donuts...it took alot of willpower not to imbibe. But I didn't, because I knew that it would only result in M&M's for lunch, followed by popcorn for dinner. None of those things are on the "Phase One Foods to Enjoy List"...then again, they are not specifically listed on the "Foods to Avoid List" either! ( But I think that's because the good ol' doc is giving his readers credit for having an IQ above 10)
So, the moral of this story is Mrs. Cavehair needs to be a better hunter-gatherer and eat accordingly even when the generous offer of delicious Pizza is made. I clearly have blood sugar issues.
Posted by Goob at 9:26 AM