Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Pantscil Sharpener

“Introduciiiiiiiiiing….the Pantscil sharpener!”  he proclaimed loudly (and proudly).  Arms triumphantly raised over his shaggy brown mop of hair and grinning that famously snaggled toothy grin only an eight year old can posess, he waved a fresh, never been sharpened “I ‘heart’ NY” pencil in the air.  The pencil took on an air of “magic wand” as he prepared to demonstrate his first fully functioning invention.  Admittedly, I had only half-heartedly looked his way when he came bounding down the stairway.  Skipping the last two risers so that he could enjoy the loud “thump” of energy pounding into the floor after landing solidly on lower ground was such a part of daily life, it had no special meaning to my ears.
“Wait, what?”
“Introduciiiiiiing….the Pantscil Sharpener!”
“Mom, don’t you wanna see what a pantscil sharpener is?”
“I’m not entirely sure I do”
“Come on mom, its funny!”
Tears of laughter were beginning to collect in the corners of his eyes and he just couldn’t contain himself any longer. The Pantscil Sharpener must be demonstrated.  Now!
“Ok, show me what a pantscil sharpener is”
“It’s a pencil sharpener in my pants!” he explained in his still high pitched voice.
I dared myself not to laugh, but failed miserably as I observed him swinging the pencil downward, towards his waistband where he had stashed an electric pencil sharpener exactly front and center. 
The pencil activated the sharpener and the high pitched squealing of blades against new wood, paint, and graphite competed with the laughter in the living room. 
“Dude, NOT appropriate!” I managed to spit out between hearty laughs.
By now the tears were streaming down his cheeks and he was jumping up and down like a happier version of Rumplestiltskin.
He composed himself long enough to remove the electric sharpener from its temporary home and place the newly sharpened pencil on the dining room table.
“Here you go sis, a brand new pencil from my greatest invention”.
She gladly picked it up to draw a rainbow and a unicorn.
“I love my mama”
“I love MY mama”
“I love you both”.