parenting's most embarassing moments

We all have those moments as parents when we wish we could just disappear. The problem is, we almost never CAN just disappear. Here is a decade old story about a certain 2 year old who will remain semi-anonymous. Lets just call her "Og" that sounds like a good Cave Hair name.

So, "Og" was 2 and it was time to potty train. I've never been one for pull-ups, I think they give the kids a sort of "permission" to have accidents and prolong the training period. So, when potty training a two year old, I always carry along extra panties, but what, oh what do you do when "Og" has already splashed through the 3 extra sets you brought and you're still waiting in an excruciatingly slow Dr's office for another child's checkup? You let "Og" go commando...yes that's right, bunderless. This can present a problem when "Og" is wearing a dress. In particularly, because if "Og" were to say, have a bowel movement while dressed ( or not dressed) in this manner there would be nothing to hold it in,up off the floor.

So, I will admit, that I am not always right on top of what my children are doing at any given moment. I have been known to pick up a magazine and read it while my children are playing in a play area, and that is exactly what I was doing this fine day when I started smelling an awful smell. I checked my shoes, nothing there, must be my imagination. I returned to my reading. Then a horrible ruckus errupted next to me when a small child threw a memorable temper tantrum because she wanted to go play in the play area. The father insisted that she could NOT play over there, no matter what. Finally, after much persistence the child demanded to know why, and the father said, quite loudly, "Because somebody POOPED OVER THERE". I went running over to grab my own fragile children away from the area where some disgusting child pooped on the floor only to find one clothed in a rather wet dress. Yes, the one who was going commando! ( which, frankly, I had forgotten about)Oh shoot, Oh shoot, this did not happen...oh yes it did! The lovely 12" turd laying on the floor of the pediatricians play area shared DNA with my lovely "Og". Off to the ladies room to clean up. We had nothing left but a baby blanket to wear. No underwear, no diaper, no dress. Just a baby blanket. But "Og"s older sister needed to see the Dr. We couldn't reschedule. So we re-entered the waiting room, dressed roman style in a baby blanket just in time to see a disembodied hand reach through a station at the service counter to distribute a lengthy spray of Lysol disinfectant and air-freshener into the waiting room. I don't know who picked up the poop, it was gone when I came back for it. Obviously everybody knew it was me, obviously everybody could see that I was ill-prepared for an all day outing with a potty training two year old, and obviously I wanted to crawl under the chair and die.
But I didn't.