Say "ahhhhhhhhhh"

Going to my parent's home is a little bit like having Calgon take you away. Especially during the summer months when its comfortable outside at any time of day and Grandma's garden is so inviting. Its also a little bit like fat-camp...not the kind where they make you do crazy things like drag sand bags up enormous hills, more like the spa kind where they bring you things to eat like grilled peaches brushed with blood orange infused olive oil. (mmmmm) You WILL eat healthy at mom and dad's house, and you'll probably lose wieght too.

For the kids its like a mecca of legos and construction toys (or dolly's and stuffed animals if that's what you like.) Its quiet, except for when my siblings show up, then its a party, whether mom planned it or not.

Its a nice place to be, and that's where we've been for the past several days. We're home now, with my two big-girls in tow (hooray!) just in time to enjoy one last week of summer vacation before school starts back for Gabe. Now to see what we can do for fun.

See you all in a week or so.

Lisa

blogging by cell-phone

apparently its not a perfected science. see below.

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Realizations

I have come upon a few realizations over the past several weeks, here they are:

I like Twitter to receive specials, product updates, and other important information from retailers and restaurants.

I don't like Twitter to get people's random thoughts. They usually interrupt me at church, during a movie, or out to dinner with my family.

A portion of whole-wheat flour in your favorite pizza dough recipe makes an even better pizza dough. CrunchY!=yum.

3 year olds are both a delight, and a threat to sanity.

6 year olds know how to do alot of things, except for the things you expect them to know how to do.

12 year olds who are within days of their 13th birthday get VERY excited about becoming a teenager.

15 year olds are way too anxious to drive. ( I remember being that 15 year old!)

I have lost alot of really good habits I used to have. Fortunately, I know exactly where to find them!

Budgeting money makes it feel like you never have any money at all. I currently have almost three hundred bucks in my wallet and I feel like I can't even take the kids to McDonalds because I'm out of money. (because its set aside for another purpose.)

When you tell your kids what a budget is and why you have one, and tell them if you stick to the budget then a trip to Disneyland will come later in the year, they immediately begin insisting on sticking to the budget.

6 year olds think that a new car costs 107 trillion dollars.

Even though mommy is documented to be the worst video game player ever, she may still be asked for assistance in conquering a difficult task. If mommy gets your guy killed, its ok, because she was trying to help.

A Britta Water Pitcher is an EXCELLENT investment. Delicious water! (and always cold if you keep it filled and in the fridge)

Identifying a person's strengths, through their weaknesses, is impossible if you have a bad attitude. Even harder if you dont like the person.

Eyes say alot about a person. If your eyes remind me of Darth Sideous, I will probably steer clear of you.

I'm really excited to go to my Mom and Dad's for a couple days next week.

I'm really excited for my big girls to come to AZ for a few weeks.

School starts for Goob a full week earlier than I expected, which means we have 5 days to figure out how to do something fun to call it "summer".

I feel a little silly signing up to be in a martial arts competition. But not silly enough to skip it.

I think other people's drama is lame and don't like being around it. Ironic since I spent a huge portion of my life involving everybody in my drama. Sorry to those who I dragged down, you tried to tell me to stop it. I didn't understand back then. Now I do!

A glow stick that lasted forever would be an excellent invention.

I really want to invent something! But I only have lame ideas and zero know-how, either that or my ideas are already being done by somebody else. (ie: attractive integrated solar tiles for roofing that look like regular roofing.) grrrr.

Apparently if enough people stop listening to a radio station, they will eventually figure out its their format that sucks and do something about it.

I love an apron with pockets on it. Emily made me one for mother's day, I wear it every day. One pocket gets my cell-phone, the other gets all the little clips, bobbypins, strings, rubber bands, etc that I pick up off the floor during the day.

I may need to make another apron with pockets on it so this one can get washed.

I stink after karate.

Having a "Come to Jesus" meeting with kids about public nudity, fighting, back-talk, and other rudeness can actually have a positive effect. :)

One (very old) toilet brush for three bathrooms doesn't cut it.

I'm thinking one of those food storage machines that seals the food and sucks the air out would be a great investment now that we have a separate freezer.

Knowing what your grocery total should be before you get to the store can pay off. That way you know you've been overcharged for something when your total is 12.00 higher than you expected. It also can get you an item for free when you can show them what you were overcharged on.

108 degrees is so much cooler than 115 degrees that you catch yourself thinking "Man, its really nice out today."

I've been using my ironing board backwards for years! What else can explain that when I used it the way JP had it set up, I was able to iron his work uniform in under 5 minutes and it looked GREAT! (It was taking me 15 minutes and they'd come out terrible before).

That bag-o-random-electric-chords that we have? ( that apparently at somepoint I told JP to throw away? ) It had my sewing machine chord in it. JP keeping it saved us $47.99

If you suggest to your husband that you have recently realized that he hasn't been doing much in the way of zoning-out/stress-relief, you will find that your Wii is set up and being played in less than 15 minutes.

Lily knows the chorus to "I was wrong" by Social Distortion.

Scary Skeleton Rock Out Music is not an option for Pandora.

When a 10 year old boy asks you if you know the Lollipop song, keep your fingers crossed that they mean the one from the 50's...there is a small possibility that this is the one they mean, and you don't have to have a look of shock and horror on your face. When they start singing the oldie, smile, laugh, and do the "Pop" part.

Lowering expectations rarely results in positive change.

It is entirely possible to be happy for a friend who's experiencing tremendous and unexpected success in a career you always wanted but never had the guts to pursue.

I never thought I'd be the mom who looked forward to school going back in session. I have to admit, I'm looking forward to it.

I'm looking forward to some of my favorite blogs getting back in the groove so I can have something entertaining to read.

I have an opinion about some very popular blogs that would be quite unpopular.

I can drink 1.89 liters of water in the evening after karate, and still wake up dehydrated the next morning. I think that's somekind of special talent.

I'm excited to relearn what some of my talents are now that I have time at home.

When I get going on one of these "list" posts, I get too long winded.

If I Really Had that Time Machine

Then I would have missed out on Lily holding up my crystal necklace that once belonged to our beloved Great Aunt Margie and saying to her brother in the most powerful voice she could muster up (and for those of you who know Lily, you know that her "powerful" voice is something akin to a Chihuahua doing its "mean" bark.)

"The power of dis neck-o-wace will DESTROY you!"

So Easy A Cave Mom Can Do It

So Easy a Cave Mom Can Do It is where I share things that are completely simple, but bring great pleasure. They are usually also inexpensive, because it turns out, I'm a cheapskate. So far, this has applied to food, but in the future it may apply to something else.

Tonight, its this delicious marinade and sauce I made. It started with a small amount of inspiration from another recipe I found on Allrecipes.com, but it ended being mine entirely. Its not necessarily a unique flavor, and the application is certainly not unique, but the point is, its SIMPLE, EASY, and EVEN A CAVE MOM CAN DO IT! (That means you can too!)

We used this on Mahi Mahi, a wonderful meaty white-fish. I'm thinking it would be excellent on Chicken, and good on pork. Not sure about beef, but why not give it a try?

You will need:

3T Honey

3T Soy Sauce

3T Balsamic Vinegar

3T Olive Oil or Vegetable Oil

1 large Clove Garlic

2 -11 oz cans Mandarin Oranges.

Combine Honey, Soy Sauce and Balsamic Vinegar in blender. Blend Until combined. Slowly add oil to create an emulsion. (That's that nice place where oil and liquid combine and stay that way.)

Finely chop Garlic. Combine chopped Garlic with liquids. (I didn't put the garlic in my blender because its my blender I make shakes in and I didn't want a chocolate-garlic shake in the morning. You could just put the garlic in the blender and it would be fine).

Marinat fish for 10 minutes. Place in a lightly sprayed non-stick skillet, cook until done. Remove Fish to a seperate plate.

Seperate the juice from the fruit in the cans of oranges. Set the fruit aside for another use. (may I suggest adding the oranges to cottage cheese for a light snack later.) Add the reserved liquid to the marinating liquid. Using the same pan you cooked your fish in, pour in the liquid and bring to a boil. Reduce liquid to a thick syrup which coats the back of your spoon.

Serve over fish and rice. Side this with your favorite veggie ( we like peas) and fruit. Voila! You've got a tasty, healthy dinner. And it was both cheap AND easy. What could be better? (and if you can't get the fish inexpensively, seriously, just do chicken, even thighs would be great).

P.S. We are garlic feinds in our household and normally increase the garlic to ridiculous amounts in just about anything, but this time, keep the garlic down. Garlic would not be a pleasant dominating taste for this sauce. You want it there, don't omit it, but don't up it too much, no matter how much you think you love garlic. Let the sweet/sour flavor be the main event.

Risking Life and Limb

Today, I am risking life and limb in hopes of breaking through these prison bars I have created for myself. Let me explain.

You all know JP sleeps during the day because he is a big-bad-macho-man who works all night long.

You all know I have a couple of WILD kids at home.

These wild kids are extremely creative. They can find a new way to fight, a new thing to fight about, or a new game that involves fighting at the drop of a hat.

I have become a hostage to the fighting, trying my best to deal with it with dirty looks and stage-whispers. I have believed that any other sort of dealing with it which would cause greater commotion than they've already brought into the home would serve to be "the last straw" in waking up JP and interrupting what little rest he gets.

Today, its done! If he only gets 2 hours of sleep because of my actually making it stop, so be it. I'm thinking of it as having a baby who is too old to not be sleeping through the night. You let them cry and scream for a couple of nights, and then its over, you have peace.

If these kids cry and scream and threaten to wake daddy because mommy won't allow them to spend their entire morning fighting, hitting, scratching, screaming, chasing, name-calling, licking (yes Licking!) mooning each other (seriously?) or otherwise being obnoxious in an unhappy way, then too bad! I'm done! I have allowed them to steal peacable mornings from me. No more. I'm taking the morning back.

*breathe*

(it is now silent in my home, because I put these two back to bed. They went screaming and crying, and I thought for sure I'd be having to deal with a grumpy bear too, but he didn't come out of his den, and he probably heard us and smiled to himself thinking "Its about time she cracked the whip!" ahhhhhhhhhh, silence. If they haven't reset their attitudes when they wake up, they'll go back. I'm done.)

RockStar Romance

Will somebody please help me understand the teenage propensity towards falling madly, wildly in love with persons they are not likely to ever meet? I didn't even understand this when I was a teenager, let alone now. It never made any sense to me to waste emotion, STRONG emotion, on a person who didnt' know I even existed.

Somebody help me, is my love machine broken or faulty? Or is it the rest of the world's? I can't make any sense of it.

SAHMOACHC (Stay at Home Mom of a Cave Hair Clan)

I can now once again claim the title SAHM (which by the way, I sort of hate that shorthand moniker). Its just plain ol' SAHM, not WAHM, PTWAHM, DMO3, MMOF, LDSMOQ, or any other ridiculous title that tells the world what I wear on my shirt sleeve, or for which cause (or for how many causes) I will offer up my martyrdom. I'm at home, I'm taking care of my children, I am keeping house, I'm probably baking bread. (Well, maybe, if its under 110 outside)

I've done this before, I had a 5 year stint. I'd like to think I'd become pretty professional at keeping house and attending playdates, making friends with complete strangers at fast-food restaurants, and hosting book-club. I was NOT adept at participating in babysitting co-ops, Mom-School (preschool at home) or FHE. I couldn't figure out how to embrace those activities and give them what they deserved. I definitely enjoyed the occassional girls-night-out (pardon me, I mean "GNO") when I was home with the kiddos before. I haven't had one in almost two years. I haven't wanted one. (although I will admit to having my feelings hurt more than once that I wasn't invited to GNO's...even though I probably wouldn't have wanted or been able to go. That's the mind of a woman for ya' - doesn't want to go, but doesn't want to not be invited.)

I can't decide if my job or my husband's job has been my excuse to keep me from having to socialize. Church-wise, all our activities have been on JP's work nights. At the end of the day, who wants to be the one walking into the church an hour past bedtime with your kids in tow to have fun? That doesn't sound like fun to me. No thanks! But then in a way I think I'm saying "No Thanks" to friendship, and that's not my intended message at all! Or has it been?

Truth be told, even 20 hours a week (even 13 as its been the past several weeks) takes so much time from my family that I haven't been interested in going out with other women, taking the time to make close friendships, or developing that listening ear that women need from each other. I've been happy to be some kind of hobbit in my hole. (That's not even a phrase, is it?)

So now that I'm officially a SAHM again, I not only need to brush off the dust-cloths, and champion the vacuum cleaner, I also need to relearn how to navigate the halls of SAHMotherhood. I guess its time to learn how to operate in a community of women who need other women again. In the famous words of Gabriel at the age of three, after walking in on me getting out of the shower, 6 mos pregnant with Lily..."Those make me nervous".

But I'll be allright. Right?

*Gulp* Have I EVER said I would do ANYTHING for money?

Can somebody please point me to any past post on my blog or yours where I suggested that I will do ANYTHING for money? Please? Because apparently I have said it somewhere.

Perhaps I read too much fiction, or maybe its too much non-fiction. Maybe I just read too much because the e-mail I received this morning makes me want to puke a little bit. I suppose there's always the possibility that its completely harmless, but in today's society, I don't believe any unwelcomed internet solicitation which promises payment is EVER harmless.

I was sent an e-mail, in French, (thank you BabelFish!) which promises remuneration for allowing "Promotion-Time" to place a classified ad, on behalf of one of their clients, within the text of my posts, targeted to a French Speaking audience. Since when do I have a French Speaking Audience? (Erin, you don't count.) Ocassionally, only very occassionally, I get a visitor from Quebec, but certainly not even once a week, let alone often enough for this classified ad to pay-off for the client.

Unless of course...and here's where my idea that I read too much fiction (or non-fiction as the case may be) comes from... what if the whole point is that my site is entirely in English, I have no propensity towards speaking French, and they want to place an ad on my site which I will assume is harmless, but is actually one of those "hidden" messages that terrorists use to communicate? And why not in French? Many countries harboring Terrorists (either knowingly or unknowingly) use French as a main or second language, and if they asked this conservative, gun-toting, Christian to post an ad in Arabic...well, its possible they assume some alarms might go off in my head, so why not the language of Love. What if I allow these guys to put a French Language Classified Ad on my non-french language Mommy-Blog and I help Bin Laden's Accolites succeed in their next endeavor?

Maybe I sound paranoid. I'm sure I do, but does this make any sense to you? Maybe its just a love connection, and I'll find myself in the middle of some crazy-Quebequi-NCMO.com deal-io, but I don't really support that either.

I guess I'm just no fun, I don't want to play anybody's games, not even for money.

BTW...you are allowed to laugh at me while you picture me typing this up in a paranoid frenzy, eyes dialated and fingers flying faster than the wings on a hummingbird. The truth is, I don't know the purpose of this letter, but my gut tells me its a SCAM, probably just a phishing scam, but why not go ahead and jump to conclusions of the most sordid kind and play the sensationalist?

Still Nothing?

We moved into our new ward boundaries over a month ago. We have not yet been assigned a calling. That is because the ward boundaries are going to be changed next week. By the time they get to us, who knows how much time will have passed.

Is it wrong that I'm really enjoying just showing up and not having to have any responsibility?

I'm probably going to regret saying that "out loud" aren't I?

A little Peek Inside the CaveHair Household

In case you cant read this the first screen says :

I have been studying mixed martial arts for months. I will

now dominate you without throwing a single punch.

Second screen: Prepare to be submitted via a deep and vicious armbar-

the pain you are about to feel-

Third screen: Ok, I'm going to have to ask you not to lift me

over your head while I'm dominating you.

( in case there's any question, I (Lisa) would be the little dog in this scenario.)

Time-Travel-for-Tots

It has occurred to me that the number one way for me to become a better parent is not to lead by example, hand down regular and predictable discipline, or even to practice greater patience. The best way for me to become a better parent is for me to devise some way of fast-forwarding time.

Now I realize that the 3 or so years that come between ages 18 mos and 5 years are crucial to a child's development. I understand that people who study these things out have come to know that it is within these years that a child separates from its mother, forms his or her own identity, and learns to be his or her own entity.

I also realize that as a mother I need (oh! how I need!) my child to do these things. Afterall, did I really want to carry my child on my hip until he or she is 6? I certainly do NOT want to be changing diapers to age 21. But this separation is painful!

After 4 children you would think I would have a system devised for dealing with these years. I do not. They are as big a mystery to me today as they were between 1995 and 1999. I have no better way of dealing with tantrums over donuts that never existed than I did over tantrums thrown over the sudden realization that becoming Cinderella as a grown up was not an option.

After 4 children you might think that I would have devised a fool-proof method for deterring back-talk. I'd be willing to share it with you! Maybe I'll write a book and sell it. That is, after I've figured out how to actually make it stop.

After 4 children, you'd probably expect that my home runs like a well-oiled machine where children of all ages assist each other in daily responsibilities, parents treat children with patience and respect, and "Love at Home" is the predominant feeling. Yes, Love we've got...but patience, respect, helpfullness, those things happen, but the moments are fleeting and I've yet to devise a way to make them last.

So, it has occurred to me that I can be a much more efficient parent if I can fast forward the years between 18 mos and 5 years. We can head straight from the totally dependent years to the totally cooperative (for about 6 mos in that magical time we call Kindergarten) in the blink of an eye. Don't let any grandmothers tell you that it all really DOES happen in the blink of an eye because I am now in my 10th year of parenting a child who is in this "separation stage" and I am telling you, it doesn't FEEL like a blink of an eye. I am putting "Scientific" (Gabe) in charge of the time travel machine. If Lily doesn't destroy it while he's working on it, it may be up and running by some-time tomorrow.

Now, I do have some questions as to how Time-Travel-for-Tots will work. First of all, will I be able to franchise this and become wealthy? Second of all, will my child come out recognizeable? Will he or she have the same personality traits I so adore? Will he or she be able to handle confrontation, pottying, disappointment, and feeding herself? In the course of my child's participation in Time-Travel-for-Tots will I have gained necessary wisdom and knowledge for dealing with any potential backlashes? What about memories? Can I download a program which completes my memory of the funny, downright hilarious antics that 2 and 4 year olds participate in? I'm not sure motherhood will be the same without memories of children kicking and screaming their way out the door of a department store yelling "I'm not going to jail for this!" or a screwed up face with hand on hips saying "duh mom".

I don't know, maybe I should just wait for the amnesia of great-grandparent-hood to set in, when all I remember are the good times, my children were the smartest on the block, and I was the most patient, long-suffering parent that ever existed. Yes, that might be better than Time-Travel-for-Tots...(but probably not as lucrative!)

Its 9:53 AM

And we have been home from the zoo for 15 minutes. And, we were at the zoo for over 2 hours. That's what happens out here in the desert when your kids are going stir crazy and you have an excessive heat warning issued until 8:00pm. You get up early, you sweat anyways, but you go and run and play and splash. I'm pooped, I'm ready for a nap. It feels like 2:00pm. I wonder what they'll be expecting out of me come 2:00pm? Yowzas.

Take THAT!

Do you think if I added a jump to this, I might, just maybe, be able kick my 6'2" husband upside the head! (not that I would want too...at least not today.)

This will actually be the last time I wear that Yellow Belt, I earned my green belt this weekend. That puts me somewhere around a quarter of the way to Black Belt, so still in that "beginner" stage, and I am having so much fun.

As a kid, I loved participating in Softball, and Surfing. Competition was NOT my thing. I would shine every practice, and then choke when it was time to perform. I don't know if its a difference in maturity, a difference in the sport, or a difference in talent, but I don't choke with martial arts. Its such a great feeling to know that in front of judges (even the Grandmaster-Founder of the organization) I did my best, AND my best was better than good enough. When one of the masters stopped me on my way out and told me "excellent job today, your form is outstanding. Keep up the good work, you have a gift" I thanked him graciously, but inside I just wanted to burst. In a competitive situation, nobody has ever told me I had a gift before. I had to push down the old memories of "what happened out there?" and "How on earth did you not see that?" and "Its ok, maybe next time" to enjoy it. Here is where I'm fighting the urge to say something self-deprecating, sarcastic, or otherwise negative about my personality, or other personal trait, but I think I'll stop myself this time. I think I'll enjoy the compliment and let it inspire me to work even harder.

Weird how it took me 20 years past my so-called-prime to find that sport that I was my "thing." But hey, better late than never, right?

What's really cool, is that we do this as a family. What's even cooler are all the friends we as a family have made participating with this group of people.

I gotta say, if there's something you'd like to try and you think you're too old, too fat, or too out of shape to do it...just do it anyways. What if that thing is the thing you have talent for and you never discovered that about yourself? That would be sad indeed.

Please wait while I process that request

Yesterday I learned some news about some friends of ours from our days in 29palms. It initially devastated me, then as I learned more about it, I realized that the family is doing pretty well, and that they are being taken care of, so devastation is not the appropriate response. I feel sad because I lost touch with the wife when we moved away, she was a good friend. I feel like a cheater because we played the game, got out before the fire got too hot, and left in one peice. I feel conflicted about that because I certainly don't want my husband enduring what this man is enduring.

I guess it boils down to each of us having a different role to play here on this earth. The challenges, the gifts, the opportunities, they aren't supposed to be the same for each of us. I know I shouldn't feel guilty. They followed their path, we followed ours. But it still sucks to know that we have it so easy when other's have it so hard. Or is it ...Its still good to know that we have it so easy when other's have it so hard. I can't figure it out. I think I'm overreacting, or maybe I'm not reacting enough.

Maybe its so hard to process because I never imagined this life for them. I imagined them living the same life the rest of us are living and I'm shocked. But I shouldn't be. Afterall, he doesn't seem to be too shocked.

http://www.homesforourtroops.org/site/PageServer?pagename=Sgt_Greg_Edwards

Fairlove Delivery Service Part...oh no you di'nt

If you found me here in my little corner of the blogosphere as a result of googling Fairlove Delivery Service, first, let me welcome you. Second, read the article linked below! Hopefully you googled Fairlove because you know something just ain't right about that scammy e-mail they sent you and you have not yet responded to them in any way.

http://voices.washingtonpost.com/securityfix/2009/07/an_odyssey_of_fraud_part_ii.html?hpid=sec-tech

This link brought to you by kind reader "Anonymous"...this may be the first time anybody "Anonymous" actually said or did anything helpful or kind. Thank you dear reader, and please, come back, we like smart people 'round here. (aint, 'round, and any other grammatical faux pas entered with tongue firmly planted in cheek.)

Away with Toxicity!

My mom always had to remind me "You're not one of the adults" when I was a child. I was in such a hurry to be all grown up and in charge and whatever else I thought came along with being all grown up. Ironically, it seems like it took me especially long to become actually grown up.

Yesterday was a "grown-up" day. I've had them before and they always appear to be difficult and end up being easy. And ALWAYS, they end with a feeling of relief. It happened when we said "no" to buying a car from a family member, it happens every pay check when we pay off debts instead of go to Disneyland (although I am determined to make that happen this year...but the kids would rather go to Sea World...obviously they've never been to Disneyland!). But today was unique because I had not one, but two opportunities to be grown up. The first opportunity was to give a professional and courteous two weeks notice to my boss, when a good portion of me wanted to storm in there, throw my keys at him and tell him if he's so smart he can figure it out for himself. But I knew it would be better not to burn any bridges. My kids are friends with his kids, his wife is a sweetheart, and she's the one who's hurt the most by my leaving. (her 35 hour week just turned into a 60 hour week without pay.) But the work environment had become toxic for me. I was experiencing nightmares, dwelling on percieved injustices, and bringing my grumpy butt home to my family. Toxic.

My second opportunity to be grown up was to cut off a needy-selfish, (and as it turns out)lying "friend". I use quotations around friend because I've just never really been into this relationship. I generally trust people too easily and I have had my guard up with this woman since the day I met her...that tells me something. It was one of those emotionally exhausting things where you get off the phone, or leave the park and realize "wow, I totally did not enjoy that." And yet, she kept coming around, and I kept answering the calls because I didn't want to be that person who just ducked out and didn't actually say "this isn't working for me anymore." But I did chicken out a little, I did let JP take some of the blame (with his permission and even encouragement). Ironically, the proverbial "last straw" was the thing she called for my advice (or rather JP's advice) on. She's been accused of using another person's credit card without permission. While she can say "I just don't think I could have done this" and "There's no way I can believe I would do something like this" and "I have racked my brain, and I just can't remember a time when there would be something like this that I would have done", she can't seem to say "I absolutely did not do this." JP told me "cut it off now, they never would have summoned her if they weren't absolutely positively sure they've got the right person."...When I told her that I couldn't accept her calls anymore or meet her at the park with the kids anymore her response was "so...since I did this, we can't be friends anymore?" I felt that was her confession right there, and not only do I not want to hang around with somebody that would cause concern for the safekeeping of my valuables, there's the whole possibility of future background checks concern. I don't need to have any "known associations" if you catch my drift.

Its funny, I thought it would be difficult to do these things. But, as always, it turned out to be simple, and left me feeling good. Two Toxic Relationships...GONE! And I feel GOOD.

That might be misinterpreted

So far summer break has felt like one big Fortunately/Unfortunately story. So I thought about making it a Fortunately/Unfortunately post. But you know, that's been done. But I thought I could at least title the post with Fortunately/Unfortunately, and then I considered, only momentarily, abbreviating the title to F/U.

Although tempting, I decided against it.

Have a great day!

If you are a squatter, click below!

http://www.divinecaroline.com/22178/77250-toilet-seats-make-sick-

Seriously people, I know exactly who makes public toilet seats filthy and disgusting. Its not the people who actually sit on them, its the squatters. You know who you are, leaving the public restroom looking like it was doused by a lemonade storm, all because you choose not to consider basic biology in making your decision on whether to sit or defy your divinely designed anatomy and attempt standing.

THE ONLY PEOPLE GETTING SICK BECAUSE OF TOILET SEATS ARE THE ONES GAGGING UP THEIR LUNCH BECAUSE OF THE MESS YOU LEFT BEHIND!

Put down a Nixon Bib and Sit for goodness sake. Oh, and wash your hands too, please?

WIDE LOAD

Yesterday, you all suggested we get a king size bed. To tell the truth, we had already discussed this option, recently. It would fit nicely in the nice big master we now reside in, and our current queen is really broken down. Neither of us sleeps well on it anymore.

But the question is this: Do you think its appropriate to use the money JP earned escorting a WIDE LOAD truck to purchase a bigger bed?

(you better think that's funny, because we had tears rolling down our faces when JP asked that!)

Bum Fights

My new term for the nightly butt-pushing caused by territorial sleeping issues.

Don't worry, there will be no video taping, internet posting, or criminal investigations; just some good hearty laughs, and probably an attempted covered wagon or two.