Just like Vikings, only they walked

It's been a fairly long spell since I've been to Primary.  Since the time a former Bishop came to the knowledge that at 35 years old I had spent 16 years serving in Primary, I've been given a furlough of sorts.  I admit, I've really enjoyed adult lessons, adult conversation, adult perspective.  But what I realized this past Sunday as I substitute taught the six and seven year olds, I also miss the humor the kids provide!

Here's my short "Overheard in the Ward" style list:

"Does everybody know who the Pioneers were?"--"Yeah, they were just like Vikings, only they walked."

"Who can tell me what the Bishop does with our tithing after we've given it to him?"--"First he checks it to make sure its all there and nobody stole any."/ "He takes it STRAIGHT to Jesus...or does Jesus come to get it?"/ "He uses it to get stuff."

"Is anybody allergic to any kind of food?" (food is allowed for an object lesson, and an object lesson we had.)--"No, I'm not allergic to any food, just my brother."

"My lips taste like an apple-pear"--"What? Your lips taste like a black bear?"

"His nickname (middle) is Thomas? I thought he was named Dave" (he's really named Gabe).

"What is Christmas really about?"--"Its about Jesus, but we get all the presents we want."

"Mary, Mary, these kids are gettin' WILD!" (I thought to myself as singtime drew near an end and I realized I would have to keep them interested for another hour all by myself after they sang 'Mary, Mary, look at the child" one last time.)

Is this a good choice? Or a bad choice?

If you don't know ChefTess, its time to get yourself in the know.  She is a little bit-o-kooky, and a whole lot-o-evil genius.  She is also an actual, real-life friend of mine, which makes life both fun and delicious.

So Tess does this thing she calls Evil Think Tank.  She gets together with a friend, brings with her all kinds of crazy good ingredients and a basic goal for the day, such as "come up with the most purely evil tart ever."  And then the baking begins.  Tuesday morning I was ever so lucky and got to be an evil thinker in this week's think tank.  Man! did we have fun.  And lest you think that "Evil" is just a word we're throwing about far too casually, consider this:  I ran off to the produce market to buy some last minute ingredients.  My bill came to $6.66, Tess has picture proof of this.

So anyways, we made some seriously evil tarts (check out Tess's blog this week (CheffTessBakeresse), she's not only doing tutorials, but a giveaway which includes a cooking lesson for any Phoenix area readers and a wonderful tart pan like I've never seen, very heavy duty and totally and completely non-stick!) and of course we had to taste them.  Truth in advertising, right?  So as we're sitting at the table, nibbling (and I do mean nibbling, we are frankly a little afraid of the calorie count in these tarts) we serve a slice up to miss Lily.  She dives right in, and then about 3 bites into it says "Is this a bad choice? Or a good choice?"  To which Tess and I both answered, "That's a very good question."

Holiday shopping 6 year old boy style

Day 1 "Mom! check out these really awesome laser dolphins!"
Day 2 "Mom! we went to the Holiday Gift Shop today and here is my list of things to buy tomorrow"
(note list includes 1 item for mom, 0 items for dad, 2 items for said 6 year old, 1 item for sister #3, 0 items for sisters #1 and #2, 1 item for 1 grandfather, 1 item for 1 cousin, 0 items for any remaining family members.)
Day 3 "Mom! I saw something I really wanted so I changed my mind and didn't get you a necklace so I could get what I wanted.  Isn't this snake cool!?"

When I asked him if he thought putting back a gift for me so he could get himself a 3rd item was a good choice, he said with complete sincerity "I guess I should have put back Lily's gift instead."

I didn't fail, but thanks for thinking I should be an expert by now

This weekend was Tae Kwondo testing again, and this time I had several kids that I help to teach at Gabe's school testing for their first belt.  It was so fun to see them come in so excited and curious about how it would all go.  It was neat to feel a tiny bit of "ownership" over their success.

But you know we never leave one of these things without a story!

We were outside warming up, I was having some of the kids with more advanced belts run the white belts through their routines, getting stretched, practicing their kicks, blocks, forms, etc, we were having a good time and accomplishing something while the other adults were getting the room set up for testing.  The boys were really into it (I didn't have any girls this time) and weren't really paying too much attention to the other adults around them, they were in their own world.

We went inside to begin testing, and one of the students noticed the black-belt panel seated at the front of the room (keep in mind he's only ever met one black belt, John, the main instructor) and he notices that except for  the parents in the room, the very large majority of adults in the room were black belts.

With a very worried look, he comes to me and says quietly, "Miss Lisa?"-I answered "Yes?"  "Miss Lisa, how many times have you FAILED this test?!"  I answered "none....whyyyyyyyyyyyyy?"  His answer-"Well then WHY are you still a green belt!?"--apparently he assumed that all adults were black belts, but fortunately, I did get to test for an advancement, and it was fun to show him that the adults have to earn their belts just the same way the kids do.  In fact, that's one of the things I love, we all wear the same uniform, we all do the same things.  Nobody's special, nobody's different.  We all start from the beginning, and that's good.

As it turns out, I've got miracles, 4 of them.

Periodically you've all read me whine about my weight, my futile attempts at losing any (remember the 3 weeks of not a 1/2 calorie more than 1200 plus 4times a week hour long cardio workout that resulted in 0.5 lbs lost?), and you've probably said to yourself the same thing I've said to myself, "your just not trying hard enough! I see all those food picture you post, you're obviously a pig!"

Well, after a certain amount of trying everything you know you're supposed to do (eat right, exercise, don't overeat, etc.) and it still doesn't work, the logical thing is to go to the doctor and find out if you're actually doing things right or not.  So I did.

Turns out, I am doing things right, and I *should* be losing wieght, but my body really, really, REALLY wants to be lazy and not turn on its metabolism in the mornings when I get up.  Like that's so hard, to just flip the switch that says "ok body, time to burn calories!", but apparently its too hard for my body, because one of the chemicals that's supposed to turn that switch decided to stop working.  And, as luck would have it, I found a doctor who did her thesis on this particular chemical in the body.  After linking together my weight, my history of gestational diabetes, some "unwanted hair" (which after doing a little research on the internet...turns out I have alot more "unwanted hair" than I realized! LOL  I figured everybody shaved their toes and had the random hair growing out the side of their thigh, what can I say.) and the crazy "ladies days" for which I had surgery last year, she said "how many pregnancies have you had again?" I answered 4, she said "regardless of outcome?" I said "I have 4 children", she said "wow, I'm shocked you have any children at all, its very uncommon for somebody with your condition to have a successful pregnancy." she proceeded to tell me that I have PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome) and that I would need medication to correct my weight.  As it turns out, one of the symptoms of PCOS is insulin resistance, which creates a cyclical blood sugar/fat creation situation, which means, I am fat.  BUT, we get to deal with that, and should be able to correct that, but what just flabbergasts me is the fact that my 4 children are so improbable.  And it makes me feel a little weird now when we're having a rough day.  I guess I have not appreciated my children very well, I definitely took being able to have them 100% for granted. So, with new eyes, which are still a little blury from disbelief, I see them now as some sort of miracle in my life, for which I ought to be more grateful, four times over.

Happy Veteran's Day

Apparently Veteran's Day is actually supposed to be Veterans Day, plural, not possessive.  But I like it as a possessive.  But here's a question JP asked the other night (as he looked at his calendar and realized that once again, just like all the other years, he'll be working all day on Veteran's day) "If the secretaries get Veterans Day off, why don't the Veterans get Secretary's day off?"

I must be living in the Twilight Zone

Ok, well, yeah, actually that "Twilight" too (Gilbert is Ms. Meyer's hometown, ya know) and the buzz of activity over New Moon around these parts is getting a little silly.  But what I meant was, I have seen the strangest things the past 24 hours.

I saw Stephanie Neilsen at Trader Joe's yesterday.  She looked sad, I was across the room from her and felt no discomfort over noticing her there, but then I had to walk past her to leave the store.  I don't think she wanted to be noticed, as she kept her head down.  I don't think I would have said anything to her, but I would have smiled like I would at anybody else I pass in public, but it was kind of weird for me wondering, "does she want to be left alone, talked too, is it worse for people to notice or not notice?" I have no idea.  I wonder how she feels about all the strangers who have aligned themselves with her in her life.  Does she like it? Or is it weird and she wishes they'd go live their own lives?  I wonder.

Then off to WalMart where I kid you not, I saw a man in his 70's wearing a dirty braided pony-tail all the way to the small of his back, levis, cuffed sort of greaser style, suspenders,  logging boots, and a TOP HAT!!!  The top hat was painted up Guns'n'roses style.  I really would like to know his story, where he came from, why he wears a top hat, etc.  It was really a site you'd have to see to fully appreciate.  His female companion was much younger and quite a treat herself, I might add.

My son told his teacher she has leeches and needs to see a doctor about that, my daughter proclaimed she is a "hog-pig".

The orangutans at the zoo actually pulled poo out of their butts (we're talking like a pasta extruder folks, not kidding) and placed it on the platform they were sitting on.  (it would have fallen to the ground 20 ft below where they never go if they'd just left it alone.)

The parking lot of the zoo vs the parking lot at the Desert Botanical Gardens are like two entirely different worlds, even though they are next to each other.  The one is mini-vans, thumping music, and kids darting in and out of parking lanes like its a playground.  The other is german-engineering, Wagner, and sun-screen.

There was other weird stuff today too, but I can't remember it all.  I must be living in the part of the Twilight Zone where you forget what you saw because it was too strange to remember.

I remembered the other thing that was funny! I saw the Chandler High Golf team riding a short bus to state finals...lol

Monsters by Gabe

Scary monsters scar by supris at holuwen. Spooky monsters friton pepl rile eesy at nit. weird monsters can hav lots uv eiballs.

I love this story.

The Best Halloween Picture Ever

was apparently lost in the "formatting" limbo when the camera decided to go on the fritz.  grrrrrr
It was of Lily in her mermaid costume (let it be known that she muttered under her breath with mild disgust when I was finished sewing it "Its a fat mermaid") sitting on a pumpkin, fanning her tail behind her in a classic mermaid pose.  It was SO cute! and its lost.

Here is the GTV2003, Sooper "G" edition Robot though! (and his pumpkin)

Veteran's Day

I changed my background for the month of November just to be a little "in your face" about the fact that it is Veteran's day on the 11th of this month.  No matter what your feelings about the current war, there are certain liberties we as American's absolutely enjoy because people volunteered to put their lives on the line when no other clear option was available.  On Nov. 11th thank a vet.

If you want to thank a vet and engage in some shopping, Overstock.com is partnering with what just may be my favorite charity, the Wounded Warrior Project.  What could be better?  Excellent deals, and an opportunity to support an organization that provides necessary services to the men and women who have been injured in combat.

And if you wanted an excuse to eat birthday cake this month, go ahead and make a cake for your favorite United States Marine as he celebrates his corp's 234th birthday on November 12th.