As it turns out, I've got miracles, 4 of them.

Periodically you've all read me whine about my weight, my futile attempts at losing any (remember the 3 weeks of not a 1/2 calorie more than 1200 plus 4times a week hour long cardio workout that resulted in 0.5 lbs lost?), and you've probably said to yourself the same thing I've said to myself, "your just not trying hard enough! I see all those food picture you post, you're obviously a pig!"

Well, after a certain amount of trying everything you know you're supposed to do (eat right, exercise, don't overeat, etc.) and it still doesn't work, the logical thing is to go to the doctor and find out if you're actually doing things right or not.  So I did.

Turns out, I am doing things right, and I *should* be losing wieght, but my body really, really, REALLY wants to be lazy and not turn on its metabolism in the mornings when I get up.  Like that's so hard, to just flip the switch that says "ok body, time to burn calories!", but apparently its too hard for my body, because one of the chemicals that's supposed to turn that switch decided to stop working.  And, as luck would have it, I found a doctor who did her thesis on this particular chemical in the body.  After linking together my weight, my history of gestational diabetes, some "unwanted hair" (which after doing a little research on the internet...turns out I have alot more "unwanted hair" than I realized! LOL  I figured everybody shaved their toes and had the random hair growing out the side of their thigh, what can I say.) and the crazy "ladies days" for which I had surgery last year, she said "how many pregnancies have you had again?" I answered 4, she said "regardless of outcome?" I said "I have 4 children", she said "wow, I'm shocked you have any children at all, its very uncommon for somebody with your condition to have a successful pregnancy." she proceeded to tell me that I have PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome) and that I would need medication to correct my weight.  As it turns out, one of the symptoms of PCOS is insulin resistance, which creates a cyclical blood sugar/fat creation situation, which means, I am fat.  BUT, we get to deal with that, and should be able to correct that, but what just flabbergasts me is the fact that my 4 children are so improbable.  And it makes me feel a little weird now when we're having a rough day.  I guess I have not appreciated my children very well, I definitely took being able to have them 100% for granted. So, with new eyes, which are still a little blury from disbelief, I see them now as some sort of miracle in my life, for which I ought to be more grateful, four times over.