The Secret-Exposed...

I just figured out the secret to the "Eat anything you want and still lose weight" diet.
Really, I did!
Its either meth...OR...

you have to want to eat lettuce and boiled chicken for every meal.

You're welcome.  I thought you'd appreciate that.

Tattoo Who?

Is it just me, or have tattoos become the calling card of overwieght white guys in their 40's wearing jean-shorts and leather hightops with ankle socks?

I think I'm going to start one of those funny photo blogs where people send in pictures of their crazy relatives and people they saw at WalMart. I'm gonna call it "40yr old White Guys with Tattoos." (White Guys wearing Jean Shorts will be our sister site.)

Being in the World

Its HARD to be IN the world.  But we have to be, don't we?  Recently I've been thinking alot about how much my life has changed, all for the good, but how in that change I feel uncomfortable, stretched a little beyond where I feel at ease.  But being IN the world offers opportunities for personal growth, the kind that we cannot get when we stay in our protective cocoon.  

Recently I've realized that for the first time in my life, my friendships have extended outside of my cocoon of safety into the realm of those outside my religion.  I've always had one or two friends who did not share my beliefs, but I find myself now in the curious position of having most of my friends not share my beliefs.  I feel stretched a little beyond my capacity to feel comfortable.  But I love these people. They are good and kind friends, they are worth stretching a little for. 

I think the main reason for my discomfort is the knowledge that many of them attend churches which actively preach against my church.  Some of them even organize protests against us. (I'm not aware that any of my friends have participated in such a thing, I just know that some attend churches that organize these kinds of things.) I feel betrayed in a small way every time they say how much they love their church, and yet, I know they aren't meaning to betray our friendship, they are meaning to share their love for Christ and the experiences they have in their own centers of worship.  But I still feel betrayed.  I really wonder what they think when their Pastors get onto Anti-Mormon topics.  Do they think "Amen Brother! I'm gonna pray for my sinner friends to leave that church."  Or do they think "I don't know if this makes sense, I don't think my friend Lisa would believe that."  I hope its the latter, but I doubt it, as they never ask me to clarify anything for them. ( I have a sneaking suspicion that they've been carefully instructed by Pastors who are tired of losing tithe paying members to the Mormons, not to ask a Mormon about their beliefs, because they'll trick you into believing they are Christians...we are Christians, we just happen to believe that God the Father, His son Jesus Christ, and the Holy Ghost are three separate beings, that's the biggest contention, really it is! You'll be amazed at how much everything else matches, at how much everything we believe can be supported Biblically.)

I realize that if they are not worried about hanging out with a Mormon, I shouldn't be worried about whether they accept me or not.  Its obvious that they enjoy my friendship as much as I enjoy theirs.  I just wonder how it is that they can feel comfortable listening to outrageous lies about a group of people to whom a good friend of theirs belongs.  That's all.

But like I said in the beginning, growth is uncomfortable, and if having friends who stretch me, make me dig deeper into my beliefs, and challenge me to grow in ways they are not aware of is part of my human experience, then I intend to participate, and I intend to eventually get comfortable.  Then again, beware comfort! It always leads to a bigger learning lesson.

Drip-Dry

I did something last night I haven't done for years, and the result was better than I expected.  I had a party at my house, for a friend with a home business.

The old Lisa with rejection issues tried to rear her ugly head.  She told the new Lisa who likes to think she doesn't care if somebody doesn't like her (she lies to herself alot) that people wouldn't come, they wouldn't mix and mingle if they did, that now was a terrible time to ask people to come view a friend's business and ask them to spend money on her things, that the cream-puffs weren't good enough (they weren't, the filling didn't set, they were soup-puffs.) that her home wasn't nice enough, that the parking wasn't sufficient enough, etc.

Then it happened, Amy, (my friend with the business called "AtHome" ---LOVE the product line, SOOOOO great, if only I could actually have that 180 dollars I "saved" on groceries this week or an unlimited budget.) said, tell them they don't have to buy anything and you just want to have them over to enjoy their company!...and it took all the pressure off, and they came!

And we ate our soup-puffs, and our Thai-Sweet-Chili dip with Morton's Multi-grain crackers...mmmmm and our grapes and our pistachios, and we drank raspberry sparkling water from plastic cups, and we mixed and mingled, and we oohed and awed, and perhaps even coveted the beautiful things Amy brought to display. (I totally forgot to take a picture, I had actually planned to take pictures, but I got busy holding the baby with the cutest hair I've ever seen!)

So the new Lisa that tells herself she doesn't care if people don't like her, kicked the old Lisa with rejection issues upside the head and said "Take That Jackass-not only did the one's who RSVPd they'd be there come, but a few who said they couldn't came at the last minute!"

Of course my good feeling was quickly dampered when my husband walked in the house from a movie with his dad and said "Did you not invite my mom tonight?"...oh crap.  You know what, at 4:00 in the afternoon after talking to one of my sis's in law I realized, I had failed to invite her.  I guess I should have called to ask her to come, but I didn't, and now I'm screwed.  But that's not the most embarrassing thing that I've come to know I failed to do before having a party at my house.

The most embarrassing thing is that I forgot to put a fresh roll of toilet paper in the bathroom and it is entirely possible that one or more persons had to drip dry at my party.  ooops.

P.S.  Check out Amy's website, I thought the quality was good, but pay attention to sizes of items, as some of them may be bigger or smaller than you perceive by looking at the pictures. If you see something you can't live without, let me know by Saturday afternoon and we'll add your order to mine (or if you need a paycheck or two between now and when you can order something, let me know and I'll give you my friend Jessie's info and you can order through her the end of October).  Or, if you're in AZ, and would like to book a show for Amy to come to your home, e-mail me and I"ll get you her contact info.

Spin Cycle

My brain feels like its on the spin cycle.  I slept last night, but didn't rest.  My kids woke up behaving like scrambled eggs.  What do scrambled eggs behave like?  I don't have any idea! But that's the word that came to mind.  See, my brain IS on the spin cycle and apparently in danger of spinning out of control into some kind of weird mania that may ultimately be entertaining, but probably not a good thing.  I have a free day today, no plans whatsoever, and the ideas.  THE IDEAS!  There are too many of them.  I'd love to go have lunch with a friend, or a playdate with one of Lily's friends, or go to the fabric store and buy fabric to make throw pillows for the couch with, or go to the ribbon store and buy bow-making supplies with which I could make all kinds of hair accessories which will be torn out of hair, thrown under a bed, and forgotten for evermore.  I could go buy supplies to make Christmas ornaments, I like to give a handmade ornament as a small gift.  I could bake bread and paint it, I could bake bread and not paint it.  I could make ham and cheese stuffed bagels.  I could, watch Arrested Development on the computer.  I could read blogs and comment on them. I could clean Lily's bedroom, I could go wash the car, I could wander around Target for an hour, filling my cart and then putting it all back again when I realize I don't need anything I put in there.  (I do this...am I the only one?)  I could read a cookbook, go to the library and get a real book, or Facebook all day. (Like how I used Facebook as a verb? ) I've been thinking about MIA, the Tiger Army, both the terrorist/rebel group and the punk rock band, Social Distortion, Kanye's outburst (yes, I'm ashamed to admit, that this is taking up more of my mind than it should, I don't even care much for Miss Swift )  Rep Wilson's outburst (so disrespectful) and my own outburst at my husband two days ago.  (This is what came of those three thoughts combined "Yo Kanye, I'm happy for you, and Imma let you finish, but Rep Wilson had one of the best outbursts ever!"...lol, yes, I'm laughing at my own joke! yes, I know you're not supposed to laugh at your own joke, but you apparently never saw me do my Yak imitation on stage.)  I'm wondering if all the people who said they were coming over to my home for girl's night and an "At Home" product showcase will really show up.  I'm wondering why we don't have a book club yet, and remembering its because I'm supposed to start it.  And what the heck is the deal with Pocoyo? And how is that Brittish? And why doesn't anybody else see the brilliance that is Yo Gabba Gabba?  and how glad am I that we cut the cable?  And I wonder what my kids want for Christmas since we don't hear 28 times a day what they want whenever their show cuts to commercials?  and, and, and...

Get the picture?  Spin Cycle.

"Imma Let You Finish"

WOW! I wish I was that clever, but alas, I borrowed it from here


*heads up for some explicit language.

A New Addiction

This is the weirdest addiction, but its totally healthy, so I'm not gonna fight it!

Berry/Buttermilk Smoothies...every morning for breakfast.

Hey, its got 8 grams of protein, and only as much sugar as I choose to put in and if I start with frozen berries, its a rich, thick, frosty treat for well under 200 calories.

The single serving smoothie blender who's blending cup is also the drinking cup is the best $14.99 I've spent in a long time.

Forget pricey smoothie mixes with false promises to curb cravings and hunger, I can drink one of these at 8:00 in the morning and not be looking for lunch until well after noon. Who can complain about that? And the best part? Since I'm culturing my own buttermilk with my powdered milk from the cannery, and I bought my berries UBER cheap at the peak of their season and froze them weeks ago, my morning breakfast is literally costing me pennies.

Its a good addiction, don't you think?

And in case you think the buttermilk part is weird, if you like a yogurt smoothie you will find a buttermilk smoothie to have a similar tangyness, but it will be smoother and easier to drink since it won't be quite as thick. Give it a try, its YUM!