Split pea soup

An thoroughly fictitious imagination of  the letter between the now famous Swedish DIY kitchen atom splitter, and the authorities:

•  "Dear Sirs,
  
  Recently I have undertaken to split an atom at home.  It is my theory that an atom can in fact be split using such every day appliances as a GE blender, Whirlpool stove, and a dollar store hotplate.
  
   I am currently engaged in blogging my attempts, and have had one particularly popular post titled "melt down in the kitchen, no toddlers or housewives involved"...however, after melting half a dozen premium movie theater plastic cups and blowing the hell out of my favorite "#1 boss" ceramic mug, it ocurrs to me that there may be some safety issues involved in my undertaking.  It is my greatest desire to accomplish this task without damage to self, home, or community, and further precautions are being put into place.  ie:  safety goggles and a lead apron are now worn on each occasion that the activity is pursued, clothing is no longer optional, and in fact is from here on out, prohibited in the kitchen area.
  
  The reason for my correspondence today is to satisfy the question of the legality of my activities. Please advise.
  
  Respectfully, the Naked Kitchen Atom Splitter
•