Or rather she has one joke, and 2/3rds of it is stolen-or shall we say "borrowed" from somebody else.
Monday, June 29, 2009
Posted by Goob at 9:08 PM
Amidst kisses, your husband suggests a bath. You answer, "Why, do I need one?"
Thursday, June 25, 2009
We paid off our first credit card this week. High Fives were flying! But what is hilarious, is that we both got e-mail from the card issuer saying ERROR! Account balance zero, card closed.
Posted by Goob at 10:53 AM
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
There is every possibility, that in the course of this rant I will become the one who is totally and completely offensive, so consider yourself warned.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
I love notes from burgeoning spellers. Yesterday Gabe slipped a note under the master bedroom door. It said "To Momanddad from Gabe. Yoo r the best momanddad I evr had" I love how mom and dad is one word! I could find all kinds of symbolism in that, but I'll spare you. He also, in a fit of impatience, decided that he would take matters into his own hands and write my shopping list for me, as well as gather my coupons. The list was for items like "bred, milk, dow (dough), serel (cereal) and ches (cheese). The coupons he brought me were for Dunkin Donuts iced coffee, Nicorette, and Glucerna. It ought to be a successful shopping trip.
Posted by Goob at 7:34 AM
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Posted by Goob at 8:12 AM
Friday, June 19, 2009
You already knew that mad scientist junior, the most thoroughly evolved of the cave-hair-clan has been experimenting with possible alternate uses for empty water bottles. Fortunately, his master plan to develop a "bepwoding" device using tired old AA batteries, speaker wire, and a water bottle proved inert. (ok, he doesn't say "bepwoding" anymore, but I still do!) But did you know if you punched tiny holes in an empty water bottle you could use it as a respirator while the carpet guy treats the animal stains the previous tenants left behind? Apparently its not as effective as hoped for, since the project was found left on the stairway shortly after it was introduced. A more effective use for said empty water bottles was far simpler. One bottle strapped to each wrist with a single, wide, rubber band creates excellent arm-rockets. Of course, they would be even better rockets if they were full of soda, shaken heartily, and let loose, but we'll pretend we never thought of that! ;)
I'm pretty sure when my son is grown he will tell his children that when he was a child he didn't have any toys and he had to make up his own toys out of plastic water bottles. He will have entirely forgotten the 3 buckets of toys sitting in his closet as I type. His memory of the things purchased will fade, but I gaurantee you he'll remember the things he created. And that's why those water bottles haven't been sent to the place they belong yet. He's having too much fun with them. Poor little mad-scientist, mommy won't buy him a real toy. Better go make up a new one!
Posted by Goob at 9:38 AM
Thursday, June 18, 2009
I'm not super-woman, not exactly, but I did have our move semi-well organized and thought I would in-fact be the woman who somehow had everything in its place, up and running, and ready to resume normal life within 1 day of move-in. I'm sure it shocks you that this is not the way things happened.
Not that it has been a total disaster, we actually have accomplished quite a bit over the last week. Our progress, however, has been stunted by the knowledge that today, one week and a day post move-in, would be the day that all the things that should have been done BEFORE we moved in, would finally be taken care of. The list includes: Pest Control, Carpet/Pad removal and re-installation, Toilet repair, and phone jack installation.
Why, you may ask, were these things not done prior to our moving in to this place? According to the property management company "Everybody's idea of clean is different." Hello frustration! I will give them this, I essentially made $100.00 cleaning my own bathrooms on move in day, and while they were pretty nasty, they weren't the worst I've ever seen. (Ever been on an RS cleaning detail?) I only had to clean up things like hairspray, make-up, and hair. No feces-so we were good to go to take the $100.00 credit and do the cleaning ourselves. The carpet (and the tac-strips, and probably the baseboards) however, in this "No-Pet" home were magically soaked in animal urine. We opted to let the management company take care of that problem.
Despite a few minor challenges, I couldn't be happier about this new place. It is a little bit nicer than the old house (definitely constructed better) the rent is a little bit less than the old house, and the best part is...JP can't hear us when he's asleep and we're down stairs!!!! I can even have the radio on, play games with the kids, cook, come in and out at the front door, etc. and he doesn't hear a thing. I've realized I've developed some poor housekeeping habits which arose from the need to be silent at the the old house, and I'm having to make myself relearn daily habits but its exciting to be able to be a home-maker again, and not a "silent-partner" (hehehe).
So wish us good luck in our new home, tell us your moving horror story, and consider yourself welcomed back!
Posted by Goob at 3:20 PM
Sunday, June 7, 2009
Today is our wedding anniversary and I thought I'd write about one of my favorite conversations ever. It was with a 92 year old man who was a client at a bank I once worked at. His words have always stuck with me.
He had come to the bank to make a deposit, and while I was processing his transaction, he noticed I had an engagement ring on my finger. He asked me about the lucky guy and of course I answered all his questions with the excitement of a newly engaged woman.
Then, he told me (almost tearfully) that he and his wife who had just recently passed, had celebrated their 75th wedding anniversary just a few weeks before she died. I commented on how beautiful that was. His response was priceless. He chuckled and said "well, you know, the first 50 years were a little rough, we were still getting to know each other. But the last 25...they were pure bliss.
Posted by Goob at 8:00 AM
Thursday, June 4, 2009
6 days and counting till we pack up these boxes and move them to the next house. Fortunately, we have a two year lease on the new place, so we won't be doing this again next year. Now keep your fingers crossed that the new landlord is planning on paying his mortgage and we can actually stay the whole two years we are planning on being there. Its not even a "cross town" move, let alone a cross country move, so I am very grateful for that. But its almost making knowing what to do in advance more difficult because some stuff doesn't really need to be packed, just relocated. But other stuff, I don't want to see again until we're in a house that has a mortgage with our name on it. So, I'm a little scattered, but I think we're starting to get it together. As of this morning, you can actually tell that we've started to pack things up to prepare.
So see you the next time I get online, maybe next week, maybe not for a couple weeks, we'll see.
Posted by J. P. at 11:42 AM
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
JP and I lived on some pretty scarce resources during a time when it seemed like everybody else was living high on the hog. We got creative from time to time, and we definitely learned more than one lesson about how NOT to do things when money is just not available. So my question to you is this...What can I do to help you? What do you want to know? Do you need budget stretching ideas? Do you need coping mechanisms? Do you need cheap/free date night ideas? Wondering how to make yourself more employable? What can I help you with? You can comment, even anonymously if you'd like, or e-mail me and I will search my brain and any other resources I can find to come up with ideas that might help.
Monday, June 1, 2009
Does anybody know what a Sea Horse Says? No? I didn't think so, how about a Cockroach? (I hear the kind originating from Madigascar make a pretty impressive hissing sound, but I've never heard it...thankfully.) These were just a few of the things we were considering in our home last week.
We also considered other things.
Is it appropriate to come running out of the house naked to greet the strangers buying your piano?
Should you punch a girl in the back as she's walking away from you even if she did pinch you?
If you order a Chocolate Caramel Bundt Cake Sundae at Sonic, should you ask for a "Boooont" like you're the lady in My Big Fat Greek Wedding? Or will that be completely lost on the 15 year old at the window?
Does Scooby Doo really teach children how to make explosive devices?
Should Mad Scientist Junior EVER be allowed to be behind closed doors?
Should batteries, wires, and empty water bottles ever be in our home, together, at one time?
Should shoes that can be put on by one's self trump shoes that don't stink?
Should hopping off the bus right before the bus driver closes the door, while everyone is yelling "what ARE YOU DOING!?" be rewarded if what you are doing is tattling on yourself and handing over the items you had planned to sneak to school (not explosive...just beach towel and shorts) to your mom?
How long should a child who refused to eat dinner be forced to watch the rest of the family enjoy dessert?
Is it wise to force a child to throw away his broken toys and cause him an entire week's worth of anxiety if you could have just done it for him while he wasn't home? (and probably have never been detected.)
If you go under the knife for plastic surgery, can you call your consultation "getting fitted for my prosthetics"? If you do call it that, can you get meals from the RS sisters for a week?
How did I know that item on the menu had a dirty name?