Wednesday, December 31, 2008

I'm trying really hard not to title this a "Best of", "great in oh-8", or "retrospective" post

But I can't think of anything clever at the moment. Probably because I'm home alone on New Year's Eve with nothing to do but A: Play Rock Band by myself, so really, its more like "Rock Mom" than "Rock Band" and, well, isn't that just sort of pathetic? B: Blog. I like blogging, it doesn't make me feel too badly about myself. or C: Do Laundry. Well, if playing Rock Band by yourself is too pathetic of a New Year's Eve activity then surely doing laundry would make me want to slit my wrists, right? So, best to avoid THAT one more day.

So anyways, I guess I decided to blog with my bad lonesome self and spend some quality time looking back on 2008. Just to be sure, I checked back and realized that I didn't even start this blog until April. It originally was meant to replace a family blog we had kept while living some distance from the rest of the family, but it had ALOT of personal information and after attending some seminars on internet safety, we decided to just completely dump that blog into the "delete" box and start over. Well, things never really were the same after hitting that little blue box. I have to say, that being limited in what I could share about family specifics made me get a little more creative, and I'm glad I did. ( Even if occassionally JP hijacks the blog and posts-shall we say "interesting"- items of repute that has yet to be determined.) I've made some friends along the way and wow, has that helped with the lonely factor. ( yeah yeah, I know, who's lonely? I live in a city with millions of people, right?...need I remind you I'm home on NYE without having had to turn down any invitations?)

Looking back I realized we've had ALOT of fun. We've encountered the "No Kimchi for You" waitress, the Mad Crumper, and Incontinence. Don't forget the Happy Endings!  We've done the shaky-butt dance, chased each other with water baloons, paid $4.99 for gas, visited the Beach a couple of times, and buried my grandmother.  I had the privilege of gaining 20 lbs
But, you can't really's its only 20 and not 40)being assaulted with a deadly weapon (yeah, that really happened like in May or June and I didn't blog about it at the time because I just didn't want to talk about it) and having 3 callings in a 7 month period.

JP started a new job, Gabe started Kindergarten, Emily started Junior High, and Annie started High School. (Someday I'll actually write about why I don't write about Annie and Em very much) Lily is dying to start Pre-school and I'd love to start Karate, but its very expensive, so for now I'm playing the role of supportive mom. ( Although JP and I did wonder if it would be ok if we held our very own fight-class on the sidewalk outside the dojo...what do you think? Would that be inappropriate?)

The year came to an end all too quickly, I just didn't have time to attend all the parties we were invited too (oh, you already heard we didn't get a single invitation to a single holiday party this year? Who's talking about me? and where'd they hear that?) or eat all the cookies that were dropped off at our front porch. ( oh wait, that's a lie too. not one, not even a stale old half-eaten one) And I certainly loved going to the zoo lights with my "free" passes which I gave away to complete strangers because I thought they were supposed to be for guests since we had a membership which gets us into the zoo at all other times, and ended up paying for ourselves to get in because I was too embarrassed to ask for the passes back. We did have a wonderful time bowling with the AZ cousins though. That was a wonderful day which I think needs to be a tradition for the first Monday of Christmas break each year.

I guess I can truly say the year hasn't been half bad, in fact its been more than half good.  I wonder what 2009 will send our way? Hopefully some more of the kind of stuff we had this year, without the assualts and rude waitresses and stuff.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!-The Clan of the Cave Hair, also known as Lisa, Jp, Annie, Emily, Gabriel, and Lily

Monday, December 29, 2008

Gonna Whip You Into Shape...

Physically, Emotionally, and Spiritually. Fit for Service is up and running again. I've taken a month long break from it and given it alot of thought. I even considered deleting the blog. But I finally realized that the problem with the blog was that I wasn't being true to myself. I wasn't writting it with my own voice. I just didn't feel that the writing was authentic and that feeling was coming through. I have decided that part of the problem was that I was writing for an audience I imagined I wanted, but didn't have. And...that my imagined audience wanted certain things from me I couldn't authentically provide.'s what I decided to do about it. I decided to stop worrying about who was or was not reading ( hello...did I not leave that advice for somebody else earlier this month?), to write with my own voice, my own style, and my very own bossy tone. If you dont like it, too bad. I'm writing it for my own reasons, not everybody elses.

I've written a post called "Why Not Today". Its for me. And You. And anybody else who is waiting a couple more days to make life-changes.

I hope you'll stop on by, give it a read, and leave me some feedback. You can feel free to let me know about topics you'd like to see in the future, or ideas you have about today's topic. Everybody's welcome and I'll even, as a special present to you , be eliminating Word Verification! Yeah!

All-right all-y'alls, get on over there.


Make it Mini!

Ok guys, here is my other (last?) 5 star recipe I promised back in November. If you make these mini-sized (Use a large biscuit cutter to cut your crusts) they make AWESOME appetizers. (and if you are like me and my friends, since there will be no alcohol for New Years Eve...there will be an overabundance of high-calorie horsdouvres.

This one is my take on a pizza that was made on TV using all kinds of exotic ingredients that my humble little farming town in Iowa couldn't provide me (fancy cured meats, various fromage's, fresh herbs, etc). But if there's one thing Iowa can provide...its BACON!

Here it is. Caramelized Onion and Bacon Pizza.

1 large pizza crust
2 Tbsp roasted garlic, chopped or paste
Olive oil
1 lb bacon
2 large yellow onions, thinly sliced
8 oz provolone cheese

Heat oven to 450 degrees F. Heat skillet and cook bacon until nearly crisp. Remove bacon to paper towels and set aside. Remove excess fat from skillet. Thinly slice onions. Add to skillet and cook until onions are tender and golden, becoming sweet to the taste. Season with salt, pepper, and fresh or dried thyme. On pizza crust, drizzle approximately 2 tsp olive oil, and spread roasted garlic evenly over crust. Chop bacon pieces and distribute evenly. Spread caramelized onions over entire pizza. Cover onions and bacon with slices of provolone cheese. Bake until cheese is beginning to bubble and brown slightly. Remove pizza from oven, allow to sit 3 minutes. Slice and serve.

Notes: This "Gourmet Style" pizza is easy to prepare and inexpensive but packs a powerful punch. Your friends will think you are amazing. Be sure to use a really great tasting crust.

Number of Servings: 8

Sunday, December 28, 2008

Year End Reflections

I'm not always snarky, and I don't always need to crack lame jokes. In fact, I tend to spend quite a bit of time thinking about where I've been, where I'm going, and how I'll get there. I am not a big believer in New Year's Resolutions, I believe if I know something needs improvement, what better time to start than now? What is January 1 but an arbitrary date? Most New Years Resolutions are broken anyhow because they are not born of sincere desire for change, but out of a wish for something different. What I've learned over the past several years is that wishes for something different rarely result in anything different. Wishes make me feel good momentarily, but quickly arrives some circumstance that pops that wishful bubble right into oblivion. Wishes don't work for me.

Goals on the other hand, there is something I can work with. When I set goals, life doesn't happen to me, instead I participate in making my life what it is. I don't always acheive every goal I set out to acheive. Sometimes I fail miserably. But what goal setting has done for me is allowed me to stop living my life as a series of knee-jerk reactions.

This past year has been an interesting one for our family. Two years ago, we made a goal to obtain better employment. At the end of that year, we had the sought after employment and made a move from the midwest to the desert southwest. Because obtaining the employment and making the move were the results of rather large, rather life-changing goals, I didn't really know what to do next once those goals were obtained. I've spent the last 7 months doing smaller things. Trying to make friends, figure out my role in my new community and congregation, encourage my rambunctious children to behave, read scriptures, say family prayers, develop the habit of personal prayer. I've left a few things by the wayside. Personal physical health has been one of them. Although several months ago I began the South Beach Diet, and stuck to it perfectly, it didn't work for me. I've been to see the doctor on several occassions only to find out that everything is not only in working order, but in EXCELLENT working order. I've become lazy in my housekeeping, meal preparations and attendance to extra curricular activities.

It has come to my attention that I have filled my days with busy work, "fun" and other time-wasting activities. And I realize that these things have come because I haven't really set out any kind of obtainable, measurable, goal that is important enough to me to spend energy in my downtime achieving.

Jp and I are driven people when we have something we want. But being in a position of having all that you had previously hoped for leaves a strange empty feeling inside. I'm not sure exactly what the next big thing is. But I do know that I'm tired of spinning my wheels and I'm ready to get down to work again. I've enjoyed the "time off" from the work involved in obtaining a large goal, but I kind of miss the feelings of resolve and hope that are involved in these things. I don't want to become the person who feels empty inside and can't fill her cup. So, I guess its time for a different kind of prayer. I'll still offer up the prayers of gratitude we've been offering, but its time for something more. I think tonight I'll ask for a little guidance and opportunity in setting new goals. And just because it happens to be year end, don't go thinking I am setting a New Year's Resolution. Today is Dec. 28th, no where near Jan 1.

Saturday, December 27, 2008

Bringing Marriages, Families, and Friends Closer, One Note at a Time

or..."On the inside I'm wearing a bikini and have purple hair".
You know you secretly wish you were a rockstar, admit it! Well, if you indulge your family in a "RockBand" game, even fat ol' mom who spends more time sweeping Cheerio's off the floor than rockin' out these days can let her inner Hessian out and rule the (virtual) Music Scene. This is aided by such items as an "easy" setting, "No Fail" rounds, and the ability to spew gibberish into the microphone and still get a fair number of points. ( As illustrated by a certain 2 year old who sang "Are you Ready to Rock" through 3 minutes of "Nine in the Afternoon" and still scored somewhere between 65% and 70%).

Having trouble getting your children to obey? Now you have new leverage! Out of ideas for creative date nights? As it turns out, you can successfully whisper your way through 2.5 hours of rock'n'roll and not wake the babies. However, you should be warned, if you try this method, you must turn in your "cool" card prior to your first set.

(Are you unsure about your current "cool" status? Well, first things first, if you're using the word "Cool" you are almost certainly UNcool...add "whip" to the end, and you'll be a'ight. ie: this game is Cool-Whip)

Throwing a dinner party? Nothing breaks the ice like a rousing round of the Beastie Boys "Whatcha Want" failed at least three times, even on easy because even though you *think* you know that song, I promise you, you do not.

So, there, that's my obnoxious "look what we got for Christmas" post in which I attempt to show the world how superiorly blessed our family is with worldy gifts that help us completely forget that we are not Masters of the Universe and that we do indeed owe all we have; health, spirit, and the ability to care for ourselves and those in need to Christ our Savior.

It is my sincerest wish that each of you had a wonderful Christmas day full of love and the people that mean the most to you. ( And we hope you were able to throw some fun into the mix too!)

And with that we are "Back to Regularly Scheduled Programming"...or...I'll be back when I have something to write, its been a nice week away from the 'puter, but we're back to the grind now, which means, I'll be looking forward to my daily break from reality in the blogging world. I'm looking forward to reading New Years Posts soon!

Friday, December 19, 2008

Apparently my husband is bent on offending everyone for Christmas

And I'm sorry.
Merry Christmas everybody. We'll be offline for the next several days, but want you to all know we wish you a TRULY Merry Christmas.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

For both factions!

This is a little clip for both factions...those who are all up tight because there is too much/not enough santa!

you know us huubies, we gotta offend if we can ;)

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

A teensy favor

Hey guys! My Don't you Hate it When story was selected for the December competition and you know, I don't ask a lot of my readers, I don't even beg for comments (even though I DO love them) but I am going to ask you to do this for me. Will you please go give me a vote for the "Don't You Hate it When" contest? Please? I would really love to win that handmade purse, and the Amazon card, but you know what I'm going to do with the Target Card ( should I win it) is send it on to my brother who's story this really is. He has a brand spankin' new baby that is just the cutest and he and his wife are recent college grads and having a bit of a rough spot and I just know that 20.00 at Target actually would be a really great perk for them right now. So, if you can't vote for me, at least vote for baby Henry, k? He needs diapers!
click on the link above and go post your vote for Lisa with Cave Hair--lol ( I think that's a funny way to describe me, as well as quite accurate)
Thanks all you wonderful people who love me ( or at least like me enough to do one little extra thing :) )

A post without a Theme

As you can see, last night the Clan of the Cave Hair blog was abducted by a true caveman. JP has not ONLY hijacked the blog to add weirdness such as BUCKETHEAD...he has also added himself as a contributor. So watch out world, things are gonna get weird!

In the meantime...What is special about the plywood underneath the dining room table covered in little wartime refuse? What is special about that board is that it once was in a single peice. That is, until Gabriel, on his very first try EVER, kicked it in half during Karate Lessons yesterday. As you can see, it now makes an excellent fortress for little green army guys. Kindly ignore the bread crumbs, they are playing a crucial role in this battlefield epic.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

12 days o Christmas

who doesn't love a good Christmas carole with Buckethead?

Merry Christmas from the dark side

Merry Christmas....

Don't you hate it when...

**Hey guys, I know you all have read this already, but I really want to win the amazing purse and gift cards that Shelley is giving away over at BlokThoughts, so do me a favor and bear with me. If I need your help at any point ( IE...need your VOTES...I'll let you know, but for now, enjoy this little peice of Cheer)


Don't you hate it when you are home alone, not really feeling your best, laying on the couch watching tv and you realize your day is suddenly about to get 1000% better because you just looked down with one eye to the floor and realized that somebody left a chocolate covered almond on the floor and nobody is home to see you pick it up and eat it, so you do, and your mouth is watering, and you lips are quivering and you greedily stuff that beautiful lump of joy in your mouth and you begin to savor it, allowing it to melt slowly on your tongue and you notice the texture isn't quite right, and... then... you... realize...there's a problem, a rather large problem and suddenly you find yourself rocketing out of the couch, headed for the toilet, shaking, (but this time not out of ecstasy) spitting, clawing at your tongue, grabbing soap, toothpaste and water, lots and lots of water,vinegar, more soap, anything you can cleanse your palate with because it turned out... that was no chocolate covered almond...

*technically speaking this is my brother's story. I won't tell ya' which one though!

Monday, December 15, 2008

A peek into our most private family celebrations

This is how we welcome the newest members of our family into the Cave Hair Clan. This year we will be getting one beautiful new lady added to the clan. I think she was a little put off by my beard, but she didn't seem to mind the munchkins passing around the community spirits. I hope you guys appreciate this intimate look into our most private family celebrations

3 rants and a rave-Bizarro World Edition

Remember when Superman and his friends went to Bizarro World and everything was backwards? Yeah, me neither, but I do remember Bizarro Jerry and Bizarro George on Seinfeld. This is 3 rants and a rave-Bizarro World edition...that means its 3 raves and a rant~!

Rave 1: Trader Joes Tea Tree Tingle-Body Wash so pepperminty-fresh you'll want to avoid it at will wake you up too much. And will tingle.

Rave 2: Peppermint Stick ice cream. This is my favorite Holiday flavor. Apple pie ice cream is good. Pumpkin Pie ice cream is good. Egg-nog ice cream is gross. But peppermint...Peppermint, is the BEST! A Peppermint Tin-Roof Sundae is even better. I *think* we're going to make homemade peppermint stick ice cream and homemade waffle bowls for treats to take to friends and neighbors for Christmas this year...maybe... if the price of milk doesn't go any higher.

Rave 3: Burts Bees Lip Balm. uh...yeah...(*embarrassed*) this one is Peppermint too. What can I say? I LOVE peppermint! But the Peppermint isn't the best part of Burts Bees Lip Balm! Its the...oh, ok, its the peppermint.

Rant:Its Christmas Season, what's to rant about? (I'm sure I'll think of something later).
**I thought of something. Where does WalMart get off selling toddler size Christmas dresses for 37.45? If I wanted to spend 37+ dollars on a Christmas dress for my 2 year old, trust me, I would have gone to Nordstrom.

Saturday, December 13, 2008

My Grown Up Christmas List

I know this idea's not original, but I heard the song the other day and it did get me thinking (about how much I don't really like that song, among other things...).
If I got to write a list, a list that included everything I could possibly want, what would I ask for? Well, a new crock-pot, and a stand mixer might be on that list, but I can do better than that. I would wish for the next 6 years to be almost exactly like the last 6 months ( minus all the times Mr. Cavehair has been sick.) I would wish for my children to have the knowledge I have, minus the experiences that forced me to gain said knowledge. I would wish for Elf to play on network TV. I would wish for our collective siblings to find in life what they are looking for. I would wish for a friend (or two) who lived nearby and would come over in their sweatpants and eat my cookies and drink my milk and bring their laughs and their twirpy kids with them. I would wish for Filiberto's Chile Relleno Burrito's to be calorie free ( and the Horchata too!) I would wish for my husband to be bullet-proof, my children to know that names-can-never-hurt them and for myself to always have a smile ready. I'd wish to be a fly-on-the-wall in my son's Kindergarten class.
I'd wish to be able to take away the painful things locked inside my loved one's minds. I would wish I could figure out how to write my Fit for Service blog in a way that works for me. I would wish for my blogging friends to know how much I appreciate them. I would wish for JP to know how much I love him. I would wish for Real Christmas Trees to be fireproof, elderly people to die only of old-age, and BinLaden to be found. I would wish that we could just eat the sausage without knowing how its made. I would wish that I could sit through "Its a Wonderful Life" and think its just as wonderful as I'm supposed too, I would enjoy Hot Cocoa like normal people, and broken cookies really would offer up my heart's desire.
But most of all, I would wish Jennifer Anniston would just shut her mouth.

Friday, December 12, 2008


This is Gabriel's Kenyan. He does not have a name, but he does eat Chapati and Roasted Goat for Christmas ( he probably also wears a white shirt and black pants to go to his Baptist church, but we were asked to dress the doll in tribal dress) He will go all 'round the Village singing Christmas carols and collecting money for his church. The skewer through the nose, and the large earrings and neckbands are precious, but what really makes this doll authentic is his nipples. Yes, his nipples, placed rather high, close together, and somewhat too near the neck.


Thursday, December 11, 2008

My Dark Side Wants OUT!-(and she's gonna be Wearin' Purple)

But there's a reason I've kept her under wraps. She is more trouble than she's worth. But lately, I feel her clawing at my brains saying "Please, Please, let me out to play, just for a little while"...but giving her voice gives way to things like this , and this, and this.
So, here's to giving her just a teensy bit'o'freedom and making me smile today. (And if you don't like it, or it scares you, come back tomorrow...we'll be back to regular programming)

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Toys for Tots

You'll notice on my sidebar, there is a new button. Clicking that button will take you directly to the Toys for Tots "Donate Online" page. Once you're there, you can click through the website to learn more about the Toys for Tots program.

Its been a program that has been occassionally abused, its one of hundreds of programs competing for your attention this year, but its also a program that is worth donating too.

In our first year of marriage, our family( my two oldest girls)beneffitted from the Toys for Tots program. One doesn't marry a Marine for his income, and a Marine doesn't marry a single mother of Two with no college degree for her income potential. It was really difficult to accept the gifts. We felt embarrassed, frankly. We had planned a very small, very happy christmas with what we had and we were happy to be together and to share in the love we had in our home. I'm still unclear as to how we came to recieve Toys for Tots in our home. We hadn't registered to recieve them, but anybody who was a junior rank automatically qualified so it could be that the company XO or some other person had submitted our name, I don't know. What I do know is that our children recieved gifts that were far better than we probably would have purchased given a more robust budget for the year. We were truly amazed at the generosity, especially considering how many family's were receiving these gifts.

The next few years we were no longer in the Marine Corps, and while we may have qualified for the assistance, we never felt to register. We truly believe in keeping Christmas more about giving than recieving, and have tried to instill in our children a sense of appreciation for the things they have rather than the things they don't have.

About 2 years ago, we finally found ourselves in a position to be able to donate for other children. You can't imagine how much joy we felt the first time we dropped off bags full of carefully chosen gifts to that donation truck. We were so pleased with our then 3 year old Gabriel and the excitement he showed for chosing and then giving the toys away. We look forward each year to that special shopping trip and the feelings we get from doing something that we don't benefit from,(but having an appreciation for the feelings of those who will benefit).

There are many worthy organizations available to give your time and money to this Christmas. If you are having difficulty chosing one, I would recommend Toys for Tots. And if you can't go out and take part in the joy of chosing the actual toys, I would encourage you to click on that bear above and make a donation online.

Merry Christmas!--The Cave Hair Clan

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

When You've Fully Embraced Motherhood

When you've fully embraced Motherhood you'll notice things are not the same as they've always been. Perhaps you've become OK with the inevitable change in body shape, wrinkly-papery belly skin, silvery stretch markes, or laugh lines all over your face. You've come to expect scatalogical references, spilled milk, and serious aversions to all things leafy and or green. You may have found that manners have been replaced with simple, more practical traditions like "Shirtless Sunday Supper" so that you can at least have one day a week without a load of laundry.
Your budget has changed, your "me" time is lost, and you find yourself anxious at the slightest suggestion of silence. But the number one signal that you have now fully embraced motherhood and all its associated joys is when you straighten the slip-covers on the couch, discover a Cheerio within its folds and rather than make a trip to the trash can, or toss it on the floor to be vaccuumed, you pop that gem right down your throat, noting to yourself "gee, that one wasn't even stale yet".

Monday, December 8, 2008

A little bit of Internet Introspection

Today, Mina posted something that really touched my heart and I have so much to say about her topic, that I felt an entire post was better than a pages long "comment" on her post about "Insecurity" ***Forgive me ahead of time if this turns into a "Stream of Consciousness" type post, I have SO many thoughts to share.***

I find it interesting how perspective changes and truths are revealed as we grow into adulthood. But what I find even more interesting, is how-given the right circumstances-the internet can bring out the best in people.

We've all heard the horror stories about internet predators, on-line scams, and various e-addictions. Those things exist, they are real, but thus far, they have not been a part of my life. In my life, the internet has been a true blessing.

Mina talked about the insecurities she had growing up, and how those insecurities gave birth to behavior that now embarrasses her. I know some of the behaviors she's talking about, but I forgive her. The truth is, I spent my child-hood thinking that she was more talented, more outgoing, and more popular than I could ever dream of being. I have to admit, that when I started seeing her readership go up, I started to feel some of those old insecurities again, but quickly realized that her voice is different than mine and she reaches people in a different way. THere is no reason to feel insecure about her or anybody else's blogs growing in readership. In fact, its something to celebrate and to compliment. I love how the internet, specifically blogging, connects people. It shows us how our lives are similar, which can be particularly valuable at times when we feel alone in our challenges. I love how we can find those who uplift us, who make us laugh, who have it worse than us, make us roll our eyes, inspire us, or cause us to go through just about any other human emotion you can think of.
The internet and I have a relatively short, but valuable relationship.
I wonder who else has found a job, an apartment, and a spouse online in a single 6 month period? (we didn't marry in that 6 month period, we married a good year later, but we did find each other in that 6 month period!) I know others have long-term friendships, I think it was Whitney who finally met a friend of 7 years recently. I too have an internet friend who'm I've never met face to face, of approximately 7 years. We keep in touch regularly and are happy for each other as we travel through life. Many of the friends I've "met" here in the blogging world in the past few months feel like "real" friends already. Kind comments, shared laughs, the occassional snark make it all feel real. Which begs the question-if you haven't met face to face, is the friendship any less real? I suppose it depends on the second party's perception of the friendship, but I would say, an online friendship can be as valuable and real as an in-person friendship, and I'm thankful for that. My internet friends have been a big part of my having discovered my "voice"...or rather, my dang personality!-which come to find out, some "real-life" people even like!

I grew up in a hilarious household. But it was always somebody else's job to be funny. It was Lisa's job to be smart, serious,and athletic. It was not my job to be funny. But, I've discovered I do have a funny bone in me. Its my own brand of humor, and its lost on plenty of people, but not everybody. Some people, it seems, actually even kinda like my brand of humor, and laugh with me, even when I'm not actually TRYING to be funny...yes, that's you Joanna, and you totally made my day when you laughed at me last week about something I said which I didn't even mean to be funny, but turned out funny anyways. Being told "You're funny" is like the ultimate compliment in my book. I would rather be told I'm funny than be told I'm pretty, smart, or a waste of space on this precious planet. But the point isn't that other people think I might be funny, the point is, that on the internet, where I say what I want to say, and think what I want to think, I've discovered that people like me for me. Not everybody likes me, and that's ok. The great part about that is a: I don't have such a long list of followers that I can never ever keep up with them all, and I can actually develop somewhat of a relationship with those who visit frequently, and B: This attitude has carried over into my non-virtual life. The attitude of "not everybody likes me and that's ok" has really served me well here in my new home-town. I have found it difficult to make friends here. I don't have an explanation for it, because I actually found making friends in the last town we lived, quite easy. I don't know what exactly is different, but it doesn't matter. Instead of falling into old habits of thinking that I must not dress right, must not have the right talents, or must not live in a nice enough house to please everybody, I just think "well, I just haven't found the right friends yet." It makes life alot easier to feel ok about who I am, and be able to be patient about finding the right friends.
I'm currently serving in the RS presidency. I have found it to be a challenge. I really stink at small talk and I often worry that I speak far too plainly, and out of turn. But when I do, I am always approached by somebody who says "You said exactly what I needed to hear today". So, as it turns out, my relatively new-found ability to be bold sometimes even serves others well. If I could figure out a way to make "small talk" on the internet, I would probably practice that here a little too, but hey! There is absolutely NO REASON for small talk here, and I guess that's part of the attraction for me.
Its wonderful knowing that at any time, in any circumstances, there is a community of women just a finger's tip away from me that have similar lives, similar values, similar difficulties, and similar joys. And that brings comfort. I know that sometimes there is a little "image management" going on behind the scenes from blog to blog. Its pretty easy to guess when a husband and wife have had a major blowout ( hubby either breaks into the blog to post a mushy "how I appreciate my wife" post, or wifey logs in to name the Top 10 Things I Appreciate Most about My Husband". ( If its yours or his birthday however, I'll just assume you're being nice and not trying to cover up your name calling from last night, LOL)or when a new blogger is still trying to find their voice, but overall, I find this to be a joyful community to be a part of.

And so, at the end of this very jumbled post-of-too-many words, I just want to say to each of you, "Merry Christmas" and "thank-you" for reading, responding, and being a part of my life. ( You Too, family members☺)

Saturday, December 6, 2008

*gag* *choke* *hyper-ventilate*-Oh wait! don't do THAT!

I just walked into a cumbustible cloud of gas, not my own, nor belonging to a family member. How in 36 years is this the first time that has ever happened? I don't know.
But I will tell you this! I will have a hard time not laughing when that customer returns.

Friday, December 5, 2008

Bringin' Sexy Back

And apparently Brad Pitt thinks HE's responsible??? Come Now...Mr. Cave Hair has been sporting the 'stache for the better part of a year now. And while I appreciate Mr. Pitts attempts at making sure mustachioed men everywhere are treated fairly I think Mr. Cavehair is perfectly capable of taking care of himself. I mean, Would YOU mess with this man?
I. didn't. think. so.

Larry King..."You were here a year ago. It's good to have you back. But I must ask, Brad, what's the moustache for?"
Brad Pitt: "It's political, Larry. It's political. I'm making a stand for men with moustaches. I don't think they get treated fairly."
King: "You've got a point."
Pitt: "And I want to change that."

Feel free to Vote on Your favorite Mustachioed ;)

5 years in the making

2 Carne Asada Burritos with drinks...$12.00
2 Tickets to the game purchased from a sketchy lookin' dude in the parking lot $100.00
1 Hot Cocoa, 1 Bag Peanuts, 1 Diet Pepsi...lord knows how much
Finally getting to that Hockey Game?...PRICELESS

*I also discovered the most demeaning job for women in the sporting world..."ice girls" how would it look if the NBA sent a bunch of females out to sweep the courts between periods? What? That would seem misogynistic in some way? Well...apparently in Hockey its some kind of honor to dress up in a skimpy little uniform and skate around the rink hunched over like Quasimoto over a snow shovel while the guys get some water.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

"I'm Not Eating My Sister's Candy!"-Emily Grace, 4 years old

When my second daughter was about 4, one day nearing Christmas I realized it was entirely too quiet in the house and inquired as to her whereabouts. Emily's response to the question, "Hey Em, whatcha doin?"..."I'm not eating my sisters candy."

Now, I'm sure all you mothers out there know precisely what 4 year old candy lover Emily Grace was doing to her sister's candy, which happened to be a part of an Advent Calendar. Of course, she was in fact stuffing little peices chocolate greedily down her tiny little gullet, hoping, praying, that somehow, not only would she not get caught, but that her sisters calendar would somehow not be ruined in the act of piracy.

Fast Forward 10 years.

I thought about fixing the red-eye in that picture of Lily, but I truthfully felt that the devilish gleam suited the situation perfectly, and chose to keep it in place. The shredded paper below was ( not the key word *was*...yes, past tense intentional) an Advent Calendar.

Following in her sister's footsteps before her, Lily is a great lover of all things chocolate. ( who are we kidding, its all things sweet, her very first sentence afterall was "I like cookies") and in that great tradition of all things Emily Grace, decided that simply having a single peice of chocolate each day between now and Christmas was, well, pointless. Why dole it out in tiny portions when you could not only have it all at once, but you could have your brother's too?

We have an interesting "history" with Advent Calendars. Never has one made it 24 days, never has one made it 14 days, but NEVER has one (or two as the case may be) been entirely cleaned out by Dec 3rd.

Now, it could be argued that this is the fault of the Mommy. After 4 children and at least 12 episodes of Unauthorized Advent Burglery one would think that a mother would get the clue that these things need to be put up. But what's the fun of a Christmas Calendar that you can't see?

And besides, by now, its become tradition. And who am I to take such a joyful tradition away from my children? So, eat away baby girl, eat away...oh, wait, there's nothing left. Did you find what you were looking for in the pantry? I doubt it, because I did finally throw away the halloween candy. So there!

***For those of you who have a face book account, search for the group "Im declaring Dec 23rd to be Hold the Door Day" and join the group. (and of course make invitations to all of your friends)It would be so fun to see the group grow!

In case you're wondering, that's my maiden name, and nope, not gonna tell you my real

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

National Hold the Door Day

I am declaring Dec. 23rd, 2008 the first ever national "Hold the Door Day".
A few years ago at Christmas time, hubby and I were at the mall doing some last minute shopping-stroller in tow and having a little bit of a rough time getting through the crowds. People were generally not so much rude, as just non-observant. We felt invisible. On the way home that afternoon we had the "what would you do if you had a million dollars" conversation. We both decided that if we had a million dollars, we would withdraw 100K and take it to the mall a few days before Christmas and hand over 1000.00 to anybody who said "excuse me", held the door for us, wished us a "Merry Christmas" ( not a Happy Holiday...that wouldn't count) or in any other way displayed some courtesy and holiday cheer.

Well...we don't have a million dollars...darn it. But we do have the ability to spread the word! ( And we might even have 20 bucks or so to invest in chocolate bars or some other inexpensive but unexpected reward) And so I am officially declaring Dec 23rd to be "Hold the Door Day"...try it, see what happens! ( make it extra special by wishing somebody Merry Christmas too.)

Monday, December 1, 2008

I am fully aware that this is disgusting looking

but once again, I bit off more than I could chew and have to revisit it tomorrow.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

How to Cook a Turkey using only Testosterone

You all may have gathered by now that my son Gabe is...well...very male. I *think* his kindergarten class is making us mommies one of those "how to cook a turkey" books that kindergarteners are so famous for, but I am impatient, and unwilling to risk missing his 5year old boy version of how to prepare our most treasured roast-bird. And so, here, for your reading pleasure, is how to prepare a turkey, according to Gabe.

"First, you make a bow and arrow, cuz I know you have to shoot it and I wanna shoot it with a ARROW! Then you tear off the legs, tear off the wings, tear off the head... and tell somebody to take off the feathers. And you stick it in the fire with salt and pepper and butter. Turkey is my FAVORITE! All my favorite foods are Turkey and Broccoli. But my unfavorite food is tomatoes, they make me sick."

*I know I said I'd be gone until Dec. 1, but I couldn't resist this timely little tid-bit I learned this a.m. while waiting for the school bus in pre-dawn hours.

Saturday, November 22, 2008

"Hot" tip at the end of this sure to check it out in time for Turkey leftovers. :)

Unless something that simply cannot be ignored happens between now and 6:00am Wednesday morning ( and lets face it, I have a 2 year old in the house, so chances are good there will be some kind of hilarity) this will be my last post until the first week of December...can that be right??? wow.
Anyways, I am going to share with you one more Thanksgiving recipe. I would caution you however, that if you have not ever baked bread from scratch before, this might not be the best recipe to start with, since there are no specific flour measurements. This year I have baked them up "brown'n'serve" style, since we'll be traveling a few hours away and I needed to bake them in advance. So, if the picture looks pale to you, that's why.

Sweet Potato Cranberry Rolls
1 14-16 oz Sweet Potato
1 C. Half and Half
1 pkg dry yeast
6 T golden brown sugar
1/4 C. Butter, Melted
2 t. Salt
1 t. Ginger
3/4 C Dried Cranberries
1 lg. Egg, beaten

Pierce sweet potato in several places, cook on high in microwave for 7 mins. Turn over, and cook until very tender (could be up to 7 minutes more) Scoop flesh from potato into bowl, mash. Transfer 3/4 cup mashed sweet potato into large mixing bowl. Using Whisk attachment, beat potato until very smooth (I usually just do this by hand, you don't need to have a mixer, or a whisk attachment to make these turn out). Heat Half and Half and 1 T. Brown sugar in microwaver 2 minutes, let rest 5 minutes, sprinkle yeast over it and let stand about 10 minutes until foamy. Add remaining 5 T brown sugar, melted butter, ginger, and salt to sweet potato, beat until smooth and well blended. Add yeast mixture, mix until well blended. Beat in enough flour, one cup at a time to form a soft dough. Beat three minutes ( dough will be very soft). Turn out dough onto floured surface. Knead until smooth and elastic. (adding more flour by tablespoons if its too sticky) Knead about 6 mins. Knead in dry cranberries ( try using orange scented or cherry scented if you'd like, they are yummy).
Spray large clean bowl with non-stick cooking spray, turn dough into bowl and spray dough ball with non-stick cooking spray. Cover bowl with plastic wrap, let rise until double.
Butter 2 baking sheets, or cover with parchment. Punch dough down, turn onto floured surface. Divide dough in half, roll each half out to a 12" diameter circle, cut round into 8 triangles. Roll each triangle into a crescent shape. Place each roll on baking sheet. Cover baking sheet loosely with plastic, let rolls rise until light and puffy (about 45 mins.) Position baking racks in center and top 1/3 of oven. Preheat oven to 400. Brush rolls with beaten egg. Bake about 15 minutes or until rolls are golden and sound hollow when tapped on bottom. (make sure to switch racks half way through baking time).
These can be made up to 2 weeks ahead and frozen.

***To reheat, place in brown bag, run bag under running water until wet, but not dripping. Place in 350 oven for about 10 minutes. ( You can do this with any rolls. they will be warm, moist, and delicious every time, not dried out, crusty, rubbery, or hard! like if you used a microwave or oven without the wet bag)

Friday, November 21, 2008


I have a new reader. She is lurking in the shadows, and you'll probably never meet her, but she's here, and I'm glad she is. She is JP's 80something Grandmother. Now who else can brag that they have an octegenarian for a reader? Huh? And lest you be worried that my blog will change because I am afraid that my grandmother in law might not like something I post, let me tell you this...Never, EVER give her your e-mail address...because if you do, she'll send you porn and viruses every day...(kidding!...sort of) LOL So, no worries about my blog changing, since, so far, I've refrained from posting any kind of porn, and the only viruses on this blog are the one's JP's sneezed on you through cyberspace. If she sends me something interesting though, I'll be sure to share it ;)

So, if Margie had a blog account, and you tagged her, here are a few things you might learn about her.

1. The first question she ever asks about a new person you meet is "Is (s)he a member?" You would have to be a "member" to understand this question
2. The last time she bore her testimony was almost certainly the last time she attended a testimony meeting
3. She has survived 3 cancers. THREE! Now there is one stubborn woman.
4. She has been married for more than 60 years ( I think its 65 or 66, but I didn't want to get it wrong)
5. She once sent her husband a pair of blue panties in the mail during WWII when he was stationed in the South Pacific.
6. Those pin-up girls couldn't light a candle to that picture of her wearing a grass skirt.
7. She's famous for her English Toffee. I am not allowed to make English Toffee, because mine doesn't turn out the same as hers did.
8. My husband prefers if I don't even try to make meat-loaf because mine will never be as good as hers.
9. She gave birth to her youngest son 6 months after my husband was born...she gave him his only "brother".
10. "what big black dog?" (inside joke...that one was for you Margie)

I wish you could all meet Grandma Margie (Mimi as she likes to be called by the great grandchildren) your lives would be richer for having known her.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Bloggernapple Chorus and duhduh

DuhDuh...(law and order gavel sound)did you guys watch L&O last night? What'd you think about the G's being portrayed? I haven't decided how I feel about it yet. I'm curious to see what you all have to say.

Secondly, if you thought that Obadiah Parker made Hey Yah sound beautiful, if not sad...look at the video below to be thoroughly depressed.

Senior Adult Choir: Hey Ya
Senior Adult Choir: Hey Ya

If you've never heard Obadiah Parker's version, go listen to it right now!

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

What once was lost, now is found.

I dont' know why you would even think I would be talking about the diamond in my wedding ring, its securely fastened in its prongs. Not even banging it against a peice of furniture, and hearing a small little "clink" when something hit the bottom ought to make you think I had potentially lost my diamond. Seriously, why would you even think that? I meant that I had found a jolly rancher in my pocket...freak.

Sunday, November 16, 2008

That was interesting...

And good.
JP is home extremely sick tonight. He came home this morning and spent the next 7 hours puking+etc. every 15 minutes. That was after a 24 hour day. You can probably not even begin to imagine how he feels unless you've ended a 24 hour stretch with another 7 hours of your body revolting against you. It was clear as early as 8:00am this morning, he would not be going to work today. Around 5:30 this afternoon he had finally started to heal and fallen asleep but I knew there was no chance he was making it in to work. So, I went in, took his phone, and texted his boss, and called the office to let everybody know that there was no way he'd make it tonight. Just a few minutes ago, I received a call from his boss. This phone call absolutely set in stone for me the reasons why we chose this job over other opportunities to start with. His boss was calling, to speak with me. He was not only concerned about JP's health, but also about his mental state about being sick. He was worried that JP is worried about taking sick time, because he's taken quite a bit of it lately. It seems that his defenses are really low right now, and he's been ridiculously near emergency room sick twice this month. I really appreciated his boss's concern that JP understand that its OK to take sick time, and not to stress over it. And then he apologized about sounding like a "company man"...which I had to tell him was no problem at all, because we are a "company family". We love this job, even with the stress, the sometimes unfair policies, and the realization that some promises are not going to be kept. This was the right job for us at the right time. So, there's my little peice of grattitude for the evening.


Saturday, November 15, 2008

So.....THIS was dinner last night. The food was great! Is it just us or is it TOO much of a stereotype! LOL we went someplace else for desert.
sorry if the preceding was offensive to anyone, I suppose if it is...your reading the wrong blog! ;)

J. P.

(insert your own happy ending jokes here)

Prize of Autumn Pear Salad

I got to looking at my Better Recipes account and realized that I had a couple more 5 star entries that maybe I should share. This one's perfect for fall. The other one I'll save for later...maybe a good new years eve treat.

Here is the Prize of Autumn Pear Salad. I'm really proud of this one because it got 5 stars and I made up the whole recipe myself! The pomegranate salad was a family recipe we've enjoyed for several generations, but this one is mine, all mine!

try it, you'll like it!

Prize of Autumn Pear Salad

2 red pears
2 green pears
2 seckel pears (the very small, very sweet ones)
Juice of 1/2 lemon
1/4 cup toasted pepitas (pumpkin seeds, toasted, salted, without shells)
1/2 cup sugar-free orange marmalade
3 Tbsp raisins

Core, but do not peel the pears. Slice pears lenthwise and place in large bowl. Squeeze the juice of half a lemon over pears and gently toss to coat. (This will prevent pears from browning.) Add Pepitas and raisins. Measure Sugar-Free Orange Marmalade into a microwaveable bowl and heat on high about 20 seconds. Remove and stir. Repeat if necessary until marmalade has completely melted and become liquid. Drizzle marmalade over fruit and Pepitas. Toss gently to coat. Serve.

Notes: Choose your favorite pears for this delicious and quick autumn side salad. Keep the peels on for color and nutrition. Pears should be ripe, but not mushy. Treat them gently and they will be beautiful.

Number of Servings: 6-8

Friday, November 14, 2008

Freestyle Friday-a "Stream of Consciousness" Post

I'm out of eggs, cereal, and milk...that means McDonalds for breakfast. What? You think that should have meant a 6:00am trip to the grocery store? Why would I do that when we can all load up in the car and make a pre-school-day trip to McD's? Its hubby's day off, and if he wants to take us to McD's...well, that's fine with me....except its not fine with me...McD's doesn't do too much positive for the weightloss efforts. Well, at least I didn't have potatoes, but that's not difficult, I don't really like fast food hashbrowns anyways. I like the hashbrowns they serve at sit-down breakfast places, those are yummy, especially with ketchup (catsup? *wink* to ...oh shoot, now I can't remember who posted about ketchup vs catsup this I thought I was going to be all cute with my little fellow blogger reference. Oh well) But Fast Food hashbrowns..not so much. But back to McDonalds. We sat at the tall tables, a special treat for the kiddos, I'm always worried they'll fall off the seats of those high tables...which is only a small portion of why I haven't broken down and agreed with hubby that we really need a counterheight dining table. ( safety and expense being the primary reasons...that and I kinda like my shabby dining table...I think its cute, made cuter by its shabbiness...its so shabby it looks like its on purpose!) I was facing towards the front counter and noticed a father and daughter walk in. The father looked about our age, maybe a couple years younger. The daughter looked to be 9-ish...maybe a little older. It was apparent that she is ill. she had only about 1/3 of her hair, left long towards the back of her head. I was curious, but not upset by her appearance....until I saw her make a contribution to the Ronald McDonald House box on the counter. It was then that my heart swelled and bubbled up to my eyes, making my nose sting and my tongue clench the roof of my mouth. I don't think I've ever even put a penny in one of those boxes. I'm not against it, just never gave it any thought. Maybe next time I'll put my change in. Seeing a sick child make a contribution did something for me. In the meantime, tonight I get a spare-change date! We try to go out a couple of times a month, so its not like we never EVER get to go out or anything, but hubby's change cup is overflowing and he's taking it to cash in today and tonight we're going to the Movies! Quantum of Solace anyone? The last movie we saw together was Baby Mama at the dollar theater. I almost wish we were going to the dollar theater to see something there instead. I don't mind waiting to see things for cheaper. Although last time we did spy a rat running under the I guess I'll let hubby treat me to a nice NEW theater tonight. I wonder what we'll have for dinner? We always go to Pei Wei cuz we love it and we can share a good meal for 20 bucks...but I'm in the mood for something different...maybe we can try the middle-eastern place with belly dancers! Then again...not so excited about belly dancers interrupting my meal. I do love middle-eastern food though...hmmm. Maybe we should save that idea for lunch during the week when there are no belly dancers hovering 'round. Question? Do the Belly Dancers expect tips like the Mariachi bands do? Are you supposed to load up on dollars before going someplace with belly dancers?
If so, do you put dollars in the waist of their pants? Would this be a precursor to giving my husband permission to go to "Christies?" (remember those gals?)...hmm, yeah, better save that for a weekday lunch...better not go down that road. Although he does have some funny stories about that kind of stuff. Fortunately they ( all come from other the two guys on the "downlow" who were complaining about the strippers not wearing any pants...what the? Gabe likes to say "what the?"...I don't know where he picked that up...I think one of his aunts says it alot...I think its funny, but it always takes me off gaurd when he walks by something and says "what the?"...but its better than what he used to say, like when he was 3-ish and he wondered what the hell that monster truck thought it was doing...or the time he told grandma (sitting next to him, trapped in the back of our car) "Sometimes I wipe my blood boogers on the window." *barf*...which is what we had the other night at midnight...BARF-O-RAMA!!! projectile...spread across a full 15 feet of my bedroom. Why do mom's always resort to bodily functions when they're out of things to talk about? can't be denied. Get a room of mothers together and before the night is through the 3p's (pee, poop, and puke) will have been addressed in full detail.

the end.

But Wait, there's More!

for just 19.95, you too can have the convenience and comfort of sitting at home in your husbands robe-worn backwards.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Pomegranates-Thanksgiving Inspiration

While these lovely fruits are enjoying a hay-day of popularity for their sweet-tart, crisp, jewel toned "seeds" chances are good (unless you are from Southern Nevada, or share an ancestor in common with me) you have never had Pomegranate Salad. Sure, you may have thrown some pomegranate seeds on a green salad, and I would never discourage you from doing so...but you've probably never had THE pomegranate salad.

In my family, Thanksgiving is just NOT Thanksgiving, unless a Pomegranate Salad has been prepared. Last fall, I submitte the recipe to Better Homes cooking website called Better Recipes and it earned 5 count 'em 5! stars! (out of 5 possible, thank you very much).

Here is the recipe.

Pomegranate Salad

4-6 granny smith apples, peeled and shredded
1/2 cup raisins
1 whole pomegranate, seeded
1/2 cup chopped pecans or walnuts
Whipped cream or whipped topping

Combine apples, raisins, pomegranate seeds and nuts. Gently fold in whipped cream or whipped topping (the amount of the cream or topping will vary based on the size of apples and pomegranates. used, use enough to make the ingredients stick together).

Notes: Our family has enjoyed this unique salad for at least 4 generations. The sweet-tart combination of fruit and cream is the perfect accompaniment to the rich flavors of any Thanksgiving dinner. This salad doesn't keep well, so enjoy it all at once.

Number of Servings: 6-8

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

So Sue Me

I started something I can't finish tonight!
Maybe this will look better tomorrow. I'm tired.

Gabe's Glad Tidings-Or What a "Character!"

-I need to brag about my boy for a minute! Today he came home with an award! Not one of those, "its your turn to be special and by the end of the year everybody will have gotten an award"award, but an ACTUAL AWARD!~ To make it even better, it was a "Character Connects Us" award given for "demonstrating strong character." I am especially pleased with him because he struggles to make the best choices every day. He often loses the battle. BUT, he knows when he's made a poor choice and he owns his choices. I know that's why he received this award. Last week during parent teacher conferences, his teacher told me about a rough day when he had chosen to throw crayons through the air everytime she turned around. Finally, she turned to the class and asked "who is throwing the crayons." Before anybody needed to tattle, Gabriel raised his hand, said "It was me" and then asked "Where should I take my thinking minute?" I love my boy, even when he's naughty, but I am so pleased that he received recognition for the times that he does the right thing...even if the right thing is admitting the thing he did wrong.

Monday, November 10, 2008


If you're participating in the Fit for Service Challenge, go post your minutes in the comments section. ( one comment for every 15 minutes, 4 comment limit).

Top 10 Impulse Buys that Sucked

Ok April Showers, here's my answer to your "top 10 impulse buys that were worth every penny."
Its my super-fabulous list of Top 10 Impulse Buys that Sucked...LOL

10. That adorable little plastic frankenstein kid-plate that broke the first time it got dropped on the floor-also the first time it was used.
9. That Black Beaded necklace. I wanted a necklace, not a choker. It was so short not even my 12 year old wanted it.
8. Argyle knit tights in black, purple, gray, and white. What was I thinking?...There is no reason why a 30+ female with 30+++extra pounds on her should be wearing anything that remotely begins to criss-cross the vast regions of her thighs...even if said thighs will be covered by clothing...nobody wants to imagine that, let alone see it.
7. Brown, Pink, Turquoise, Green and White Boardshorts.-granted-you were not so much an impulse purchase, but rather a pressure cooker purchase. I *needed* board shorts ( citing above mentioned 30+++lbs) I *couldn't* spend $85.00 on them. So, I spent $12.00 and ended up wishing I would have just left it all alone and owned my supersized thighs. What's worse than supersized thighs? Supersized thighs disguised in shorts meant for a clown.
6. Lily's adorable sunflower clips. So dang cute...but they fell apart after 3 uses.
5. Gabe's Spiderman Bedspread. Jp gets claim to this impulse buy that sucks. What sucks about the Spiderman Bedspread? Its Spiderman, and its a Bedspread...enough said.
4. Almond Snickers Bar...totally not worth the calories.
3. X-Box-the suckiness of this is totally up to interpretation. Its great if you don't mind 4-6 hours of your family time being sucked into the black-hole of oblivion by pixilated bad guys.
2. That queen mattress of ours. We bought the first one we could afford, so in that sense, yes, it was an impulse purchase. 4 years later, it feels like its 20 years old. My hips hurt every morning.
1. That "weekend Get-a-way" we had when Jp got back from Iraq. Also known as the trip from H to the L. This could be so bad that its deserving of its own post. It would be titled something like "How to completely ruin a weekend getaway", "Those Damn Parrotheads", or "When Not to use Priceline."

Saturday, November 8, 2008

Word of the Day

Mittelschmerz-as in "holy mittelschmerz I need some Ibuprofen."

Friday, November 7, 2008

Dear Mr. Chinese Restaurant Man

I like the message on your chopsticks-"Welcome to Chinese Restaurant-Please try your nice chinese Food with Chopsticks the traditional and typical of Chinese glorious history and cultural."
This message makes me smile. I like your friendly service. I like your food, it tastes yummy. There is one thing I don't really like though...its when you call me "honey"...7 times during a 2 minute conversation while I take my food to go. Your philogynistic familiarisms are, well...too familiar. My husband doesn't call me "honey" unless I'm in trouble. And even then, he normally uses "sweetheart". Please reserve the use of the word "Honey" for descriptions of your scrumptious deep fat fried, sticky-sweet, morsels of chicken.
Thank you!-your friend "MynameisnotHoney"

Fit for Service Holiday Challenge

I know I need some kind of goal when trying to get back to a routine or start a new one. Its been about 6 months since I last exercised regularly, and I'm having trouble getting back into the swing of things...and I think I know why!

I need competition. I exercised regularly last year because my friends did and my husband did. Now my friends are all in different states and my husband sleeps all day. ( remember his manly night job...he's not just a lazy slob) So, even though I look around me and see the beautiful people everywhere I go, I'm not feeling the daily competitive spirit.

That brings me to...the Fit for Service Holiday Challenge. I've posted the rules at Fit for Service. But in short, if you are needing a little push to start or keep yourself exercising through the holidays, here's a fun way to have some competition, friendship and fun! There is a PRIZE involved!

Go visit Fit for Service today and click "follow" or add our Fit for Service link or button to your blog ( and post a comment to let us know) to get signed up for the challenge. Only those signed up by midnight Sunday will be in the running for the prize. (~$25.00 worth of non-edible wonderful pampering things)

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Finally a Twilight Post from the Cave Hairs

You would think that somebody who identifies most closely with prehistoric monosyllabic persons of questionable existence would just adore Twilight. And I a very guilty sense. Twilight and its sisters were a train wreck. I knew I shouldn't look, but I just couldn't put them down. I remain mildly curious about additional Myers Lit...And that is what brought me to take the "what Twilight character are you" quiz. To my disgust, according to this highly scientific personality profile, I, Mrs. Cavehair, identify most closely with BELLA...are you KIDDING ME! Let me first say, that from page 1 of Twilight, Bella pissed me off. She is whiny, a martyr, and an excellent target for an abusive relationship. She is needy, suicidal (yeah, I know, it was never spelled out, but come-ON...we all know it to be true.) and obsessed with danger. Her entire life revolves around being wanted by the one she can't have, instead of appreciating the attentions of others who offer a healthier relationship alternative. She is not a good friend to mere mortals. The mother in me wants to warn my daughters that this book is NOT to be taken as any kind of example for what teenage romance should be. I'm not talking about the obvious (although I might not be a huge fan of one of them brining home a vampire) I'm talking about the obsession factor. A girl who would rather waste away to nothing than live without the attentions of a dangerous man is not a girl who is a roll-model for anybody! ( other than girls who wish to eventually enter into relationships where they will find themselves isolated from their friends and family and constantly making excuses for the steady stream of bumps and scrapes they'll be trying to hide from local law enforcement. ( ie: ABUSED) ) When you fall in love with an obsessive man who wants to kill you. ( or rather, doesn't actually want you dead, but loves you so much he has to stop himself from killing you to make you undeniably his) you should not be surprised when you wake up in a pine box someday. On the other hand, nobody ever said that it is the responsibility of fiction writers to moralize. It would be wrong of me to expect Myers to write only about romantic situations which I would find acceptable for my own daughters. I do not expect other authors to censor themselves in such a manor. A "Safe" vampire story would be boring. There's nothing too interesting about a "healthy" romance. And so, I forgive Ms. Myers for writing too close to home about teenagers with an unhealthy obsession. But I do NOT forgive the creators of the "what Twilight Character are You" quiz for comparing me to Bella!

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Why 2 year olds are so great

ATwo year olds really are terrific! ( What, you heard they were terrible?) They ALWAYS give great blogging material!
Here is one tiny conversation enjoyed between Lily and me last night.
Mommy-"Ok guys, tomorrow morning Daddy is going to SLEEP...for real..because we are going to be very quiet. We are going to get up, and we are going to have a very quiet breakfast, and when its time for church, we are going to leave very quietly. Daddy is going to stay home and sleep. When we get home, Daddy will have lunch with us and then Daddy will go to church and we will take naps. Do you understand?"
Gabe-yes mom
Lily-(at the top of her lungs)"I FARTED!"

Monday, November 3, 2008

Something to be THANKFUL for

As George Orwell said:"People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf."


Out of every 100 men,
10 should not be here,
80 are nothing but targets,
9 are the real fighters,
and we are lucky to have them,
for they the battle make."
"Ah, but the ONE,
ONE of them is a WARRIOR,
and he will bring the others back."
Heraclitus 500 BC

With the coming of Veterans day next week and the Marine Corps birthday (and unfortunately the election)... How many of us know what has been done to maintain our liberty, and "American way of life"? Check out this site, then thank a vet!

All they ask is that we remeber, teach your children...
J. P.

3 Rants and a Rave

Its time to play 3 Rants and a Rave again, on this the 3rd day of November, just one day before the 4th day of November 2008, the day that shall live in (infamy?) for ever more.

Rant 1: Politics!!! I am downright exhausted. The biggest "change" I'm looking forward to is more Sonic ads ("You want some Fries with that Shake?"), fewer "Change" ads.
(Question: Why hasn't anybody on the McCain/Palin ticket been nicknamed "Goose"?)

Rant 2: Being a grown-up. Being a grown-up is hard. Especially when it involves using the word "No".

Rant 3: Christmas Music. Don't get me wrong, I like to "Fa ra ra ra ra" along with the best of 'em. However...I thought I had a bad case of tintinitus on Saturday (yes, one day past Halloween) when what to my wondering ears did appear... "I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day". Come to find out, this music has been playing 24/7 for WEEKS now! AGH!

Rave: "The World According to the Little Fish"-always well written, often quite touching. Mina is always aware of exactly what makes her tick.

Saturday, November 1, 2008

One More Halloween Indulgence

The Queen Bee.
Quote of the Day (from Gabe's Kindergarten Teacher)-said with a tired, but enthusiastic smile "Halloween AND Kindergarten, on the same day! Awesome!"

Friday, October 31, 2008

Our Pumpkin patch!

Cowboys eat breakfast too

Anybody else having a hard time getting their kids to eat breakfast this morning? I should have cooked up something special, but the bus arrives before 7:00 am for this no hot breakfast.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Mary Walcot, Abigail Williams, Ann Putnam, and Mercy Lewis

Ye killed my grandmother. That is, my grandmother of 13 generations past. True, ye did not lay thine hands upon her, nor literally tie the noose upon her neck, but ye shook, ye trembled, ye went into fits. Ye convinced the magistrate of her wickedness. Ye caused her to be hanged. I wonder, do ye dwell in that place ye hath presumed to have sent her?
Dark portions of my soul are stirred up by the story of my Great-Great-etc Grandmother. I wonder, what was it about her that made her a target for the deadly accusations? Was she opinionated? Not easily bullied? Difficult to get along with? Ugly? Is there a part of her that lives on in me? I do not believe that she danced with the devil, cast sinister spells, nor gave suck to any fiend. I do believe she knew she could save her life if she would say that she had. She must have been a stubborn woman. She must have been a woman disinclined to deceit. She must have been tremendously complex and disheartened by the society in which she lived. I wonder, how did she deal with the lies, the outlandish accusations? She is on record as having laughed at the display of "fits" her accusers made at her trial. I imagine it was an accusatory laughter, and it probably was meant to send chills down the spines of the young liars standing before her. I imagine that in her elderly state she had lost any semblance of beauty. I imagine that her accusors were in their prime. I imagine there's a whole lot more to this story than I ever will know, and I imagine, that I'm a whole lot more like Susannah Martin than I ever wanted to be.
I know how angering it is to be accused of something I have not done. I know how frustrating it is to think that people believe I've done something unacceptable, and to not have any words to convince them otherwise. I know what its like to make my own defense and have it unheard. But for me, the consequence was not death. And so, I am lucky. One day, I hope to have a long conversation with Susannah. She fascinates me.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

This is the one I was confused by... The more I read it the more I'm certain its satire. And if its not...heaven help us all.

I am confused

There is this new blog that I have been reading and I'm totally confused by it. I am 85.9% certain that its satire, but then, there's so much detail in the stories, that I start to wonder if its for real. (it is not TAMN btw, hers is way too obviously satire and I dont' feel bad at all for playing along.) But my problem with this new blog that I*think* is satire, is I want to play along, and I want to laugh hysterically, but I am scared to death that I am going to make a complete ass of myself if I tell her how hysterical she is, and it turns out she's not trying to be funny at all, and this is her actual life. There is one significant clue that this may be satire, all of her blogs listed as "inspiration" are, its got to be, right? I'm not callouse and rude if I laugh along with her ridiculously ridiculous family life, right?

My Diet isn't working

Remember about 6 weeks ago I started the South Beach Diet? Well, I was excited because I lost 5 lbs the first 8 days. Now, 6 full weeks later, and only 2 "cheat days" in the mix, I have not lost a single ounce more than that original 5 lbs. I will say, I feel healthier and happier eating these foods that are much closer to the Word of Wisdom, I'm just not losing any wieght. However, I have to be honest and admit that I am not exercising. On the other hand, JP and I joined the gym Saturday night and I'm looking forward to getting to work at the gym. Last year I really got into the grove with regular exercise and it became such an important part of my daily routine. I'm looking forward to having that in my life again.

Sunday, October 26, 2008

The Power of the Delete Button

All explained Here. I think this is my new "self help" tool. I feel on cloud nine right now. Or maybe its the Sabbath Breaking Diet Coke I had...(Sabbath Breaking because it involved a trip to Jack in the Box to get it).
Speaking of, that's how I know its time to cut out the Diet Cola...when I have to break the Sabbath to satisfy my craving.

Blogger, you're tired and you need a rest

I understand, on Friday, you were burnt out and needed to call in an early weekend. Saturday, you had refreshed yourself and worked beautifully. Now it is Sunday, and you must have partied a little too hard last night. Please, take care of yourself, and come back to work Monday ready for an outstanding week.

Mrs. Cave Hair.

Saturday, October 25, 2008

There seem to be some holes in your story Little Miss...

Time of Event: 3:00am-8:00am
Place of Event: Cave Hair Home, kitchen, guestroom
Summary of Events: Upon arising at zero-three-hundred hours a tiny-wild-haired-blonde entered various portions of the Cave Hair home. She stopped at each entrance and flipped each switch, resulting in electricity being activated to all lighting devices. The tiny-wild-haired-blonde continued through the home until she arrived at the Cave Hair guest room/play room. There she activated square entertainment device, which resulted in stupefied paralysis of tiny-wild-haired-blonde.
Having been awoken by light and noise coming from various parts of the Cave Hair home, Mr. Cave Hair began a search of the premises, resulting in location of tiny-wild-haired-blonde. Mr. Cave Hair was able to identify tiny-wild-haired-blonde as "Lily" youngest member of the Cave Hair clan.
After rescuing Lily from the grips of the square entertainment device she was returned to her bed and asked to return at a later hour for questioning.
At an unknown time, the same tiny way-farer made her way into the Cave Hair kitchen and or pantry. There she found sweet and sour sauce and maple syrup. A sampling of said condiments commenced. It is unknown whether condiments were enjoyed. At least one condiment ( maple syrup ) was taken back to guest room/play room and used for an unknown purpose (body wash? finger paint? carpet cleaner?)
at approximately 0600 hours, the older brother of the perpetrator entered the Cave Hair master bedroom to establish the fact that blood was escaping from his left foot. A small amount of blood was identified by Mrs. Cavehair as belonging to the same child reporting the blood. A bandage was applied, and the child was asked to go back to bed and return at a later hour for questioning.
At approximately 0800 hours, Lily re-entered the master bedroom. It was at this time that the maple syrup incident was discovered. The child smelled strongly of High Fructose Corn Syrup, Corn Syrup, Water, Salt, Cellulose Gum, Molasses, Potassium Sorbate (Preservative), Sodium Hexametaphosphate, Natural and Artifical Flavor (Caramel Color, Corn Syrup), Artificial Flavor, Citric Acid, Caramel Color, Mono and Diglycerides. Child was also noted to be covered in something sticky, resulting in various lint and hair being attached to places like the bottom of her feet. Knowing the answer to the question, Mr. Cavehair asked the child "what have you been eating?"
Lily "I had a breakfast jack"
Mr. Cavehair "where did you get a breakfast jack?"
Lily "Gabe"
Mr. CaveHair "How did Gabe get you a breakfast jack?"
Lily "at MacDonalds"
Mr Cavehair "oh, how did you get to McDonalds? did Gabe drive you there?"
Lily "uh-huh"
mother cavehair "did he drive safely?"
Lily "no"
mother cavehair "did the police get him?"
Lily "yes"
mother cavehair "where is he now? jail?"
Lily "yes"
Mr. Cavehair "Gabe! Come here!"
Gabe "yes dad"
Mr. Cavehair "which car did you drive to McDonalds?"
Gabe "WHAT?! giggle giggle giggle"
Mr Cavehair repeats question
Gabe "I didn't go to McDonalds!"
"Lily is lying!"
"and see, I have blood!"
Mrs. Cavehair "Do you know how I know you are telling the truth?"
Gabe "no, how?"
Mrs. Cavehair "because everybody knows you can only get a breakfast jack at Jack in the Box!" tickle, tickle, tickle.

Friday, October 24, 2008


The following is an actual posting to my local freecycle group (*I added the link to Wikipedia.)
"If anyone has a didgeridoo they no longer want, please let me know.
Thank you."

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Halloween Scream

Halloween just hasn't been the same since 1984. That was the year I was 12. That was also the year my mother decided 12 was too old to go trick-r-treating! To this day, that is one rule I just don't agree with. Now, 16, 17, 18, yep, too old. Go find something better to do. Adult? Grandma? You bet I've got a pack of raisins for ya! But 12? I was heart broken. I just couldn't believe I wouldn't be allowed to accompany my 3 siblings on the annual candy-grab.
That may actually have also been the year I insisted on being a (get this) DRUID for halloween. What the heck does a druid look like? To me, it was alot like a goth ghost....It involved an old white sheet from a recycled Angel costume, safety pins turned into jewelry and dark eyes. I'm really not sure why safety pins were involved, but I do remember they were a key component to actually being an unmistakable druid and not being taken for a ghost ( a ghost was so childish). I'm turning red with embarrassment as I type this, and suddenly I find it perfectly clear as to why I was not allowed to Trick-r-treat that year...
***I just have to add this little peice of weirdness! My counter hit 1984 for my post about 1984. Spooooooooooky.....LOL

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Ding Dong It All Went Wrong

Its that time of year when Bats and Ghosts and mysterious packages of treats accompanied by ill-written poems mysteriously appear at your door. Being new in our neightborhood, we decided to kick off the tradition of door-bell ditching treats since it didn't seem like anybody else was going to do it.
What we didn't know is that 5 year olds were not born knowing how to Door Bell Ditch. Not having been a 5 year old in some time, neither hubby or I realized that a 5 year old needed to be taught the proper way to door bell ditch and were totally unprepared for the following events.
Let M stand for Mom
D for Dad
G for Gabe
L for Lily
(the big girls were not present for this event)

M "Ok, lets head out the door, do we have the treats?"
D "Do we have the poem?"
G "I got it" (heads out the door and books it up the street)
M "Gabe...wait"
D "Gabe...STOP"
G "I'm almost there"
L "Carry Me"
M "Gabe STOP!"
D "Gabe, get back here"
L "Carry Me"
G "I'm looking both ways!"...crosses street
M (whisper screaming now so as not to bring the whole neighborhood out) "Gabe,WAIT FOR US"
G approaches door, places box on porch, runs away.
D "Gabe, you have to go back and ring the door bell and THEN run away and HIDE
M "Try it again, and take the poem with you this time"
G "OK"
L "Carry Me"
G runs up to door, rings bell, knocks on door, runs away, hides behind bush, waits for door to open, hops out from behind bush and SCREAMS "SUUUUUUUUURPRIIIIIIIIISE!"
Then proceeds to run away in circles screaming, "Mom, Dad, Mom, Dad! Where are you? I think I"m lost!"
Neighbor "Gabe, where are your parents"
M & D coming out of their hiding places with Lily in tow ( who amazingly was totally silent while being held in a horizontal hanging position from moms arm while squatting behind a bush) "Gabe, you are the WORST Burgler in all of history!"

Obviously we had to go explain all of this to our neighbor friends who were totally confused by this whole transaction, them never having heard of getting "ghosted" "spooked" "Tricked" or any other form of Halloween prank that involves door-bell ditching. It was too much fun, and I came to realize, that a son who's bad at sneaking is a good son to have!

Monday, October 20, 2008

Maybe there's something to it

You know that crazy comment we all got about mind manipulating radio-waves etc, etc?
Does anybody find it coincidental that on the same day we got that post, in my husbands in-box at work was a little tiny card laminated to be hung on a lanyard that said to wear at all times and turn in to his supervisor if he suspected he'd been subjected to radioactivity...I'm buying stock in Reynolds Wrap!

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Lessons in Creative Parenting

Recently, because of a change in my work schedule, my husband has found himself being somewhat of a "house-husband". (He works a very manly job at night, but since I'm gone every afternoon, and he's awake, the kids come home to him) He recently told me this story about a problem that occurred and the solution he came up with.

Apparently, Gabe thought it would be dang hilarious to make farting noises during the dinner prayer. (I don't remember not being home for dinner, but ok.) Obviously that was inappropriate, and disturbed the atmosphere of reverence that normally surrounds that dinner prayer. Ok, that might be stretching it a bit, but it was definitely inappapropriate. So, in attempts to combat future scatalogical interruptions to the evening liturgy, JP required Gabe to make the afore mentioned sound at least one time before every bite he took of his dinner. It is reported that after approximately 3 bites, it was no longer fun and Gabe, nearly in tears, begged to not have to make the sound anymore and to be able to just eat his dinner.

I have to say, if I had been present, I probably would have A: laughed at the noise, and B: told him not to do that again, and then just ignored it. However, my way probably would not have been very effective, and almost certainly would have resulted in an entire evening meal full of musical interludes. And so...hats off to JP for creative parenting!

Saturday, October 18, 2008


When I went in search of discovering what my 4th picture in my 4th folder was, I had no intention of actually posting it, but when I discovered it is one of my very favorite pictures of Em and Gabe, I just had to put it up.

Proof that I was Being Blackmailed By Lily

So, you all remember how I thought Lily was holding out for another trip to McDonalds to use the potty for me again? Well, she kept ding-donging me all morning about going to McDonalds saying "I wanna go a MacDonoh's" over, and over and over again. In a moment of frustration, I answered back, "Well, I want a child that uses the toilet to poop in!"...not 5 minutes later, she put herself on the toilet and pooped...proof positive that she was blackmailing me. I think I'm going to take the suggestion of purchasing a toy with multiple parts that she has to earn peice by peice and lose a piece if she soils her pants. I think that might work better than this McDonalds business.

Friday, October 17, 2008

Are Words Even Necessary?

This is SO wrong.
*edit it runs in the family. Here's Big Sis this past summer

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Here's the deal with the Uncrustables

When I recieved that bright red plastic strapless bra looking thing in the mail as part of a "Buzz" campaign for Smuckers Uncrustables. ( You sign up, promise to try free stuff, sometimes tell them you don't want to try some stuff, then talk about the stuff you like)the first thing I did was "try it on" my husband laughed and we decided to see what my two year old would do with it. She wasn't impressed, she was very busy running her own program at the time. After looking at it for a few days I decided it was a random enough looking little container that it would be fun to see if anybody could guess what it is. I haven't actually tried the sandwhiches yet ( I thought it would be more fun to make the coupon for a free box part of the prize) but my son reports that when he buys lunch at school, sometimes he chooses one of these sandwhices instead of the hot lunch. ( How Stoked am I that I spend 2.60 for a hot lunch for him and he asks for Pb&J?..which we ALWAYs have ample supply of at home) He likes them and thinks they are pretty cool...he is 5, for what its worth.
He has begged me to buy him some ever since the coupon and container came in the mail. I am a mean mom and went and bought veggies and meat at Costco and haven't gone to the regular grocery store yet. Oh well. Anyways, if you love these, or think you'd love to try these (Kristina said they deep fat fry these at the fair...that sounds deadly)post a comment saying you'd like a $.75 off coupon (that's $1.00 off if your store doubles) and I'll arrange to send you one by mail. In the meantime, I have a whining kid to take care of who wonders why I haven't bought his dang uncrustables yet!

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

And the Winner is...

Wendy for coming up with the nearest to correct answer. She thought its used to cut the crusts off of reality, its a Smucker's Uncrustables Sandwich Container. So, since its used to STORE crustless sandwiches, she wins the container, AND a coupon for 1 free 4 pack box of Smuckers Uncrustables Sandwiches, the ultimate, "I'm so busy, I don't even have time to slap some PB&J on a slice of white bread" convenience food.