Saturday, October 25, 2008

There seem to be some holes in your story Little Miss...

Time of Event: 3:00am-8:00am
Place of Event: Cave Hair Home, kitchen, guestroom
Summary of Events: Upon arising at zero-three-hundred hours a tiny-wild-haired-blonde entered various portions of the Cave Hair home. She stopped at each entrance and flipped each switch, resulting in electricity being activated to all lighting devices. The tiny-wild-haired-blonde continued through the home until she arrived at the Cave Hair guest room/play room. There she activated square entertainment device, which resulted in stupefied paralysis of tiny-wild-haired-blonde.
Having been awoken by light and noise coming from various parts of the Cave Hair home, Mr. Cave Hair began a search of the premises, resulting in location of tiny-wild-haired-blonde. Mr. Cave Hair was able to identify tiny-wild-haired-blonde as "Lily" youngest member of the Cave Hair clan.
After rescuing Lily from the grips of the square entertainment device she was returned to her bed and asked to return at a later hour for questioning.
At an unknown time, the same tiny way-farer made her way into the Cave Hair kitchen and or pantry. There she found sweet and sour sauce and maple syrup. A sampling of said condiments commenced. It is unknown whether condiments were enjoyed. At least one condiment ( maple syrup ) was taken back to guest room/play room and used for an unknown purpose (body wash? finger paint? carpet cleaner?)
at approximately 0600 hours, the older brother of the perpetrator entered the Cave Hair master bedroom to establish the fact that blood was escaping from his left foot. A small amount of blood was identified by Mrs. Cavehair as belonging to the same child reporting the blood. A bandage was applied, and the child was asked to go back to bed and return at a later hour for questioning.
At approximately 0800 hours, Lily re-entered the master bedroom. It was at this time that the maple syrup incident was discovered. The child smelled strongly of High Fructose Corn Syrup, Corn Syrup, Water, Salt, Cellulose Gum, Molasses, Potassium Sorbate (Preservative), Sodium Hexametaphosphate, Natural and Artifical Flavor (Caramel Color, Corn Syrup), Artificial Flavor, Citric Acid, Caramel Color, Mono and Diglycerides. Child was also noted to be covered in something sticky, resulting in various lint and hair being attached to places like the bottom of her feet. Knowing the answer to the question, Mr. Cavehair asked the child "what have you been eating?"
Lily "I had a breakfast jack"
Mr. Cavehair "where did you get a breakfast jack?"
Lily "Gabe"
Mr. CaveHair "How did Gabe get you a breakfast jack?"
Lily "at MacDonalds"
Mr Cavehair "oh, how did you get to McDonalds? did Gabe drive you there?"
Lily "uh-huh"
mother cavehair "did he drive safely?"
Lily "no"
mother cavehair "did the police get him?"
Lily "yes"
mother cavehair "where is he now? jail?"
Lily "yes"
Mr. Cavehair "Gabe! Come here!"
Gabe "yes dad"
Mr. Cavehair "which car did you drive to McDonalds?"
Gabe "WHAT?! giggle giggle giggle"
Mr Cavehair repeats question
Gabe "I didn't go to McDonalds!"
"Lily is lying!"
"and see, I have blood!"
Mrs. Cavehair "Do you know how I know you are telling the truth?"
Gabe "no, how?"
Mrs. Cavehair "because everybody knows you can only get a breakfast jack at Jack in the Box!" tickle, tickle, tickle.


Anonymous said...

That is great. Hope the mess wasn't too much of a hassle. I have no patience for sticky spills!

Anonymous said...
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Anonymous said...

What a lovely sight that must've been. Cute post!

Kristina P. said...

Can I be an honorary Cave Hair?

Goob said...

Kristina, you may only be an honorary Cave Hair if you will WEAR maple your hair!

vanessa said...

i was recipient of story this day while at the pumpkin farm...she is just crazy no matter what time or place....

Lara Neves said...

I love that you dealt with the situation with humor (at least on your blog). :) And I didn't even know what on earth a breakfast jack was! I didn't think you could get them at McD's.

The Copes said...

I'm proud of the deductive reasoning you and "Mr. Cavehair" used to conclude that Lilly was lying.---It's hard not to buy such a convincing run of logic.