Thursday, November 6, 2008

Finally a Twilight Post from the Cave Hairs


You would think that somebody who identifies most closely with prehistoric monosyllabic persons of questionable existence would just adore Twilight. And I did...in a very guilty sense. Twilight and its sisters were a train wreck. I knew I shouldn't look, but I just couldn't put them down. I remain mildly curious about additional Myers Lit...And that is what brought me to take the "what Twilight character are you" quiz. To my disgust, according to this highly scientific personality profile, I, Mrs. Cavehair, identify most closely with BELLA...are you KIDDING ME! Let me first say, that from page 1 of Twilight, Bella pissed me off. She is whiny, a martyr, and an excellent target for an abusive relationship. She is needy, suicidal (yeah, I know, it was never spelled out, but come-ON...we all know it to be true.) and obsessed with danger. Her entire life revolves around being wanted by the one she can't have, instead of appreciating the attentions of others who offer a healthier relationship alternative. She is not a good friend to mere mortals. The mother in me wants to warn my daughters that this book is NOT to be taken as any kind of example for what teenage romance should be. I'm not talking about the obvious (although I might not be a huge fan of one of them brining home a vampire) I'm talking about the obsession factor. A girl who would rather waste away to nothing than live without the attentions of a dangerous man is not a girl who is a roll-model for anybody! ( other than girls who wish to eventually enter into relationships where they will find themselves isolated from their friends and family and constantly making excuses for the steady stream of bumps and scrapes they'll be trying to hide from local law enforcement. ( ie: ABUSED) ) When you fall in love with an obsessive man who wants to kill you. ( or rather, doesn't actually want you dead, but loves you so much he has to stop himself from killing you to make you undeniably his) you should not be surprised when you wake up in a pine box someday. On the other hand, nobody ever said that it is the responsibility of fiction writers to moralize. It would be wrong of me to expect Myers to write only about romantic situations which I would find acceptable for my own daughters. I do not expect other authors to censor themselves in such a manor. A "Safe" vampire story would be boring. There's nothing too interesting about a "healthy" romance. And so, I forgive Ms. Myers for writing too close to home about teenagers with an unhealthy obsession. But I do NOT forgive the creators of the "what Twilight Character are You" quiz for comparing me to Bella!

10 comments:

Brittany said...

I took both the Twilight Man quiz and the Girl quiz. I was Esme and Carlisle. Apparently I'm perfect for myself.

I can't wait to see the movie. I need a laugh.

Mina said...

Okay. I am embarrassed to tell you that I love these books. They bring out the 15 year old girl in me and I like that (now and then). I will admit, though, that other than the, ahem, "tension" described between them, I don't really get the Edward attraction. She wants his cold, hard body. Like cuddling up to marble. What the? I've NEVER had the desire to cuddle up to marble. Once she's a vampire, okay. But before then, Jacob sounds much more lovable, even if he doesn't look like a model.

I may not see the movie. It can't begin to cover the story.

I was Esme. Maybe you knew that. If you got the link off of my site. So, Brittany, I guess I'd be perfect for you, too.

Whitney R said...

I like the books. I'm not obsessed like quite a few are. But I read books 1-3 last summer then re read them this summer when the 4th came out. I'll probably read them again in a year or two. Kind of like I do the Harry Potter series (I've read all of them 3-4 times.. I forget). I like fiction because it's a mini excape from reality and you can use your imagination. I don't take them seriously. But again, I guess I am an adult. I think it's fine if my girls read them, I haven't decided on what age I'm okay with, but they will be mature enough to know their relationship isn't healthy.

I read her other book, "The Host" the first 121 pages are a snoozer then it get's super good. I really liked it. There's a part of the ending I don't agree with but overall I thought the book was good.

If she ever publishes the Edward book - I'll buy it :) I'll see the movie probably that weekend it comes out or the next. That's how I feel about it, It took me 2 weeks after the fourth came out to read it.

Erin said...

You are the first person I have ever heard of to relate most closely to Bella. I, however, have never taken the quiz. Maybe I should.

I liked the books. Just liked.

Kristina P. said...

This post makes me happy.

Did you get my email address? I'm still waiting for the inappropriateness.

Tink said...

Hi Bella! Well, meet another Bella! Ha-ha. I don't think I am like her one aota, but oh well, the cards say different ;0). I loved the first three books. It was fun to feel like a 15 year old again and to swoon over Edward. Yep, I'm an Edward fan. Sorry, but I can't stand Jacob! He's a whiny, reactive kind of guy that makes me want to punch him in the nose! I, however, did NOT like the last book. Sorry guys, but I was disappointed in it. With that being said, I will be at the theater on November 22 with my friend Shauna! "Bite ME Edward" Haha.

clan of the cave hair said...

Kristina, after the 3rd time it bounced I gave up. *waaaaaah*

Hartson family said...

Too funny! Bella-ha... I just finished reading Twilight three nights ago and I too had a few moral issues with it. Cold syrup to sleep (Oh My Goodness!). And once the lying begins it only gets easier. Well, it was a fun read and I unfortunately ate it up. Enjoyed your post today. I'll share it on our book club site if you don't mind. :)

Tana said...

I'm afraid to take the test. I don't want to be anyone in the story. Except maybe Bella's Mom. Living in Florida with my hot athletic husband and I just dumped my crazy whinny daughter with my ex-husband. Yep. I don't need the test! I'm Good.

clan of the cave hair said...

haha Tana, that's priceless.