Friday, January 8, 2010

Butt Labels-The Joke's on You

Nothing screams "I wanted something, ANYTHING, with this brand's label on it SO bad, but all I could afford was this lousy sweatsuit" more than sweat-pants with butt labels.  Plus, it also screams I DESPERATELY want you to know that I am wearing this label.  Because, lets face it, a cute pair of shades sports only a tiny little graphic someplace that most people will miss, and if they don't see my label, they won't know what awesome taste I have! So it makes sense that stamping a label across your butt is the best way to ensure that all around are made aware of your exquisite taste in label purchasing.

But picture this:

A woman with a tiny, but extremely saggy butt goes walking by.  The butt is adorned in full-coverage fashion with the word "Juicy".  You say to your teenage daughter (fascetiously) "why do you wish you had 'Juicy' stamped across your butt so bad?" to which she replies "my SAGGY butt?  Its 'Juicy' alright! Ripe and prime for pickin!'" (underwear wedgie)  Your other teenager overhears only part of what has been being said and says "are you guys talking about farts?"

Well, the atmosphere erupted in uproarious laughter when it was decided that the term "Juicy" was some kind of announcement as to the condition of the last gaseous expulsion from the very behind it adorned.

Go ahead, throw those sweats in the trash now, even if you just got them for Christmas, because really, the next time you wear them in public, the joke's on you!


Kristina P. said...

I will never be able to look at them the same way!

ramsam said...

I just want to hurl when I see mom's in no shape to be wearing these things squeeze into a pair of "hollister" stamped's like... "I am so young and hip I can squeeze into these XL's and think I look good" but if they could see the back, well they might change their mind! Doesn't anybody flip around and peek at their butt in the mirror anymore? I know I have changed many a day thinking.."oh no...that will NOT work!" even when I am headed to the gym!