Thursday, May 21, 2009

Hopelessly (Un)romantic

I may be the worlds most unromantic woman. Flowers? Love them! (Do not interpret this to mean I don't enjoy flowers) But I'm not entirely sure what I'm supposed to do with them. Am I supposed to put them near a sitting chair and gaze longingly at them whilst considering the object of my affection? Am I to do little else but consider their beauty until they die? Do I put them on the dining table only to be removed each night with little more thought than if it were a crumpled peice of homework? Should they be in the bedroom giving off their sweet scent so I can walk in and say "ahhhh" at the end of the day?

What about a romantic dinner for two? What are you supposed to talk about? Maybe talking is not the point? But if you're going to go to the effort of getting dressed up, hiring a babysitter, and paying somebody to fill your glass, why aren't you talking? We can sit silently next to each other for free, in our PJs!

Weekend getaway. I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to use those kinds of times to discuss family finances, discipline problems, or mental health...I think I have it pretty well covered what NOT to do...but after you get to stay up late, sleep in later, and enjoy room service...what do you do with the rest of the day? I think you're "supposed" to go on an artwalk, or visit a gallery or a botanical garden. Maybe you're supposed to shop for diamonds, or get a massage...that's what all the magazines show happy relaxed people doing. But I'm not sure that's how I would want to spend my time off.

Seems like a waste of time, in a way. And now my lightbulb just went off!!! I know what the problem is! Its not about being unromantic, its about feeling guilty, and feeling guilty is LAME. If the flowers aren't in the right spot, I will feel guilty that my husband may think I don't appreciate them. If the evening out isn't packed with interesting conversation, I will feel guilty if my husband thinks I didn't appreciate his efforts at something nicer than a drive-thru. If we did get a weekend away I would feel guilty that my time off wasn't being used to clean the house, play with the kids, or prepare a month's worth of freezer meals. (like I would even be doing that if I were home!lol)

WOW I didn't know this was where this was going when I started writing this, but I'm so glad I got here. Ok, JP, if you're reading this, you have my permission to try to bring out the romantic in me! (But don't feel pressured into doing it, because I'll probably feel guilty that you felt like you had to do these things now after reading this) Look at that! I created a no win situation with just a few strokes of a keyboard. I'm an outstanding spouse that way.

P.S. JP already knows the real way to my heart is to take me into real or percieved wilderness for a day. A Diet Pepsi, a snickers bar, and a nice little hike do my heart good. (my romantic heart, obviously my real heart would fare better minus the pepsi and the snickers bar)


Kristina P. said...

So, Blogger and Internet Explorer are having major issues. I have to hurry and click down on the comment box, and then read the post in Reader. Boo.

And you are so easy!

Jessie Geroux said...

I can always ALWAYS count on Lisa to give me that grand hearty out loud guttural laugh that I need to get past my sour face mood.

I choked on "whilst" LOL


Mina said...

Nice soul-searching. Glad you figured the problem out. And by the way, we often talk about lame, family-business type stuff on dates and nights-away. I just like being alone with Larry. And not home. And if I want flowers, I usually buy them.

What I'm trying to say is that romantic is what you find be romantic. No reason to define it in terms of some girl magazine quiz.

Heatherlyn said...

I liked your post.

Flowers are a tough one, because they do die. But my husband buys them so seldom that I'm still really excited when he does.

The romantic dinner. It's OK not to talk. Sometimes my husband and I talk. Sometimes not. I think the point is to just be happy to be together. You can even do that in the wilderness with a snickers bar. In fact, that sounds like fun.

But the get-away. Now those are just fantastic. Sex with no children around. Does it get any better than that? Yep. Room service too!

I hope you have lots of fun finding romance. It's a wonderful journey!

rachel said...

Flowers are so overrated when your kid brings you flowers they picked from the neighbor's yard? That's true love right there... Last time the hubby and I went to dinner we made a goal of not talking about ANYTHING we would normally be tempted to talk about...we pretended we were on a first date and asked each other obscure questions like "What do you think was the most important moment in Rock n' Roll history?" Kinda funny, but we learned stuff and kept the conversation fresh :)

Marylois said...

Here's a nice romantic email I got from my uncle. Enjoy it.

Housework was a woman's job, but one evening, Jenny arrived home from work to find the children bathed, one load of laundry in the washer and another in the dryer. Dinner was on the stove, and the table set.
She was astonished!

It turns out that Ralph had read an article that said, 'Wives who work full-time and have to do their own housework are too tired to have sex'.

The night went very well. The next day, she told her office friends
all about it. 'We had a great dinner. Ralph even cleaned up the
kitchen. He helped the kids do their homework, folded all the laundry and put it away. I really enjoyed the evening.'

'But what about afterward?' asked her friends.

'Oh, that........Ralph was too tired.'

God is good

clan of the cave hair said...

Mary, that kills me! Too funny.

Marylois said...

I had to check to see your comment. My Uncle is in his late 70's. I just laugh when I think of him sending it to me. That generation never talked about such things!