Its a borrowed phrase from my brother who started out his career airbrushing protruding bones out of anorexic models in print ads designed to sell liquor to flamboyant men. But its the perfect phrase to describe anything that you're not quite comfortable with. Its the perfect phrase to describe my feelings about participating in the sparring (fighting) part of our Tae Kwondo tournament this weekend. I had a great amount of fun entering the "Forms" portion of the contest (totally messed up and made a wrong move, so no medal for me) and breaking boards was an insane amount of fun. The kids even broke boards! (and after witnessing JP break boards, I now know that its absolutely no problem at all should we ever go camping and forget to bring an ax, Jp will be able to split the wood with his fist...no problem..) But the sparring...its weird, and I question it. I never understood women like Layla Ali. Why would any woman want to get in a ring and punch another woman? This is not very feminine. Women don't do this.
And let me not fail to mention how excited my son was to "win" two ribbons, and how proud of him I am for participating. He also did not want to participate in the tournament, he had to be convinced that it would be a fun day, and he thoroughly enjoyed it. I am also extremely excited that I got to see both my big girls break boards WITH THEIR BARE HANDS! (and they don't even take Tae Kwon Do) And JP, he got gold too...for fighting of course! (duh) but he also earned a Bronze medal for forms, which is awesome, because he was working on learning his form all the way up until the night before the tournament.
This was our last weekend before school starts back on Wednesday and I'm really glad we were able to spend it with so many friends and soon-to-be friends, even if we had to kick some booty to meet them. ;)
**edit** I just figured out what I lost! My fear of success. My dad has always asked me why am I afraid to succeed. Maybe, just maybe, my fear of success has been shot in the heart. That would be a good thing. I suddenly realize that embarrassment is not the appropriate (even if very real)emotion. Apparently I have issues. But that's been long established, right?