I can now once again claim the title SAHM (which by the way, I sort of hate that shorthand moniker). Its just plain ol' SAHM, not WAHM, PTWAHM, DMO3, MMOF, LDSMOQ, or any other ridiculous title that tells the world what I wear on my shirt sleeve, or for which cause (or for how many causes) I will offer up my martyrdom. I'm at home, I'm taking care of my children, I am keeping house, I'm probably baking bread. (Well, maybe, if its under 110 outside)
Monday, July 20, 2009
I've done this before, I had a 5 year stint. I'd like to think I'd become pretty professional at keeping house and attending playdates, making friends with complete strangers at fast-food restaurants, and hosting book-club. I was NOT adept at participating in babysitting co-ops, Mom-School (preschool at home) or FHE. I couldn't figure out how to embrace those activities and give them what they deserved. I definitely enjoyed the occassional girls-night-out (pardon me, I mean "GNO") when I was home with the kiddos before. I haven't had one in almost two years. I haven't wanted one. (although I will admit to having my feelings hurt more than once that I wasn't invited to GNO's...even though I probably wouldn't have wanted or been able to go. That's the mind of a woman for ya' - doesn't want to go, but doesn't want to not be invited.)
I can't decide if my job or my husband's job has been my excuse to keep me from having to socialize. Church-wise, all our activities have been on JP's work nights. At the end of the day, who wants to be the one walking into the church an hour past bedtime with your kids in tow to have fun? That doesn't sound like fun to me. No thanks! But then in a way I think I'm saying "No Thanks" to friendship, and that's not my intended message at all! Or has it been?
Truth be told, even 20 hours a week (even 13 as its been the past several weeks) takes so much time from my family that I haven't been interested in going out with other women, taking the time to make close friendships, or developing that listening ear that women need from each other. I've been happy to be some kind of hobbit in my hole. (That's not even a phrase, is it?)
So now that I'm officially a SAHM again, I not only need to brush off the dust-cloths, and champion the vacuum cleaner, I also need to relearn how to navigate the halls of SAHMotherhood. I guess its time to learn how to operate in a community of women who need other women again. In the famous words of Gabriel at the age of three, after walking in on me getting out of the shower, 6 mos pregnant with Lily..."Those make me nervous".
But I'll be allright. Right?
Posted by Goob at 6:00 AM