Monday, July 20, 2009

SAHMOACHC (Stay at Home Mom of a Cave Hair Clan)

I can now once again claim the title SAHM (which by the way, I sort of hate that shorthand moniker). Its just plain ol' SAHM, not WAHM, PTWAHM, DMO3, MMOF, LDSMOQ, or any other ridiculous title that tells the world what I wear on my shirt sleeve, or for which cause (or for how many causes) I will offer up my martyrdom. I'm at home, I'm taking care of my children, I am keeping house, I'm probably baking bread. (Well, maybe, if its under 110 outside)

I've done this before, I had a 5 year stint. I'd like to think I'd become pretty professional at keeping house and attending playdates, making friends with complete strangers at fast-food restaurants, and hosting book-club. I was NOT adept at participating in babysitting co-ops, Mom-School (preschool at home) or FHE. I couldn't figure out how to embrace those activities and give them what they deserved. I definitely enjoyed the occassional girls-night-out (pardon me, I mean "GNO") when I was home with the kiddos before. I haven't had one in almost two years. I haven't wanted one. (although I will admit to having my feelings hurt more than once that I wasn't invited to GNO's...even though I probably wouldn't have wanted or been able to go. That's the mind of a woman for ya' - doesn't want to go, but doesn't want to not be invited.)

I can't decide if my job or my husband's job has been my excuse to keep me from having to socialize. Church-wise, all our activities have been on JP's work nights. At the end of the day, who wants to be the one walking into the church an hour past bedtime with your kids in tow to have fun? That doesn't sound like fun to me. No thanks! But then in a way I think I'm saying "No Thanks" to friendship, and that's not my intended message at all! Or has it been?
Truth be told, even 20 hours a week (even 13 as its been the past several weeks) takes so much time from my family that I haven't been interested in going out with other women, taking the time to make close friendships, or developing that listening ear that women need from each other. I've been happy to be some kind of hobbit in my hole. (That's not even a phrase, is it?)

So now that I'm officially a SAHM again, I not only need to brush off the dust-cloths, and champion the vacuum cleaner, I also need to relearn how to navigate the halls of SAHMotherhood. I guess its time to learn how to operate in a community of women who need other women again. In the famous words of Gabriel at the age of three, after walking in on me getting out of the shower, 6 mos pregnant with Lily..."Those make me nervous".

But I'll be allright. Right?


Vanessa said...

After I had my second child, I became a SAHM. It was a really hard adjustment. That was 5 years ago. I wish I could say I have the cleanest house on the block, I don't.

Maybe one day I'll go back, but, who knows.

Have fun in your new found "freedom".

clan of the cave hair said...

Its a different kind of freedom, isn't it? I'm looking forward to this new adventure.

Kristina P. said...

I hope that you enjoy it! I was talking to a friend of mine, and she said that she thought I would always want to work at least part time, when I have kids. I think so too. But you never have any idea until it happens.

Jessie Geroux said...

I can not even tell you how refreshing it is for me to read about another hobbit in a rabbit hole. Funny thing is I know I desire on some level interaction with other women and I think I got so comfy filling that desire with online "relationships" that I am now horrified that I may have to scrub base boards in order to have real life friendships LOL

Ah the life of a SAHM welcome back to it hun!--Wanna come over for bon bons and soap operas? LOL

The Sartori's said...

first of all I really hate GNO, every time I see someone type that I think they are going to the gyno. Which totally creeps me out that they are planing a gyno weekend.

I'm a hobbit in my hole, As much as I want to make friends and would love to have more couples to go out with I am such a home body that never happens. I think I'm lacking in the gene department when it comes to making friends. And girls nights are overrated I much prefer couples, I miss Andy all the time, I'm not ditching him for girls.

Chef Tess said...

Welcome to my world girl! And..girls night out will have to include Krazy that I know you are ready for it all. Glad to have you around more... and I'm sure the kids feel the same way.

Erin said...

Yes, you will be all right! It's so interesting how we adjust to the different stages in our lives. I look forward to hearing about what you do with these changes.

tammy said...

I know how you feel. When I worked, friends and people in the ward just didn't get how I wanted to spend my time off with my family. I didn't need time away from them at HFPE. I needed time in my home. Even now with Luvpilot's schedule, I sometimes choose family time over church activities during the week.

And I really enjoy cleaning my house, when it's not on top of working full time too.

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