Monday, January 12, 2009

The Catty-Princess in the Dragon's Realm

Photobucketnce upon a time, a happy family embarked on a grand adventure.  The happy family prepared in advance for the adventure by serving a nutritious meal early in the evening, preparing an evening snack of homebaked cookies and milk to be enjoyed upon arrival home, and leaving the house on time to arrive at the special event where the adventure would take place.  

The family got in the car, each with a smile on his face, and a giggle in her voice.  All preparations had been made and the car's engine was being fired precisely on the planned minute of departure.  As the car left the drive, a sense of joy and excitement permeated the air. ( which, thanks to daddy was much fresher now than it had been 40 minutes prior, when the rancid "McGriddle" sandwich had been found under the back seat somewhere near the 2 year old's sitting place.)
The family arrived at their designated destination with great expectations for the evening.  Arrival had been planned for 1 hr. prior to the opening of the grand event and the children were allowed some time to run free.  Like many families, this family has found it advantageous to encourage wiggle removal prior to events which may possibly require long periods of sitting quietly.  The children appreciated the opportunity to interact with other children and run and play.  When the time was well spent, it was determined that it was time for the happy family to reunite in their chosen seats, to spend a few minutes calming down, and preparing themselves to sit quietly for the remainder of the evening.
This is when things went horribly wrong.
Unbeknownst to the noble parents, a Catty-Princess had taken over the realm of the Dragon, and was prepared to do great war.  This Catty-Princess is a master of deception, changing from"Catty" to "Puppy" or "Kangaroo-y" to "PonyPony" as the battle requires.  No Dragon shall deter the Catty Princess in her epic war against parental control. What the Catty-Princess requires is nothing less than vast amounts of space to crawl, sniff, jump, or gallop within.  At all times she must be allowed to whisper quiet yet persuasive "Mews".  She must be allowed to prepare herself to do battle, which interpreted means she must never be confined to that trap called a stroller-with-a-seatbelt. The Catty-Princess must be offered free and full reign over countryside (or gymnasium as the case may be). Should the Catty-Princess be constrained in any manner the pretty ponies dancing under a rainbow of love and joy shall be forever  banished.  And the spirit of the Catty-Princess shall be invaded by the peircing screech of a feral banshee's cry---protesting against the punitive powers of parenthood. 
The screech shall be followed by sobbing and great amounts of boiling-hot, salty tears which shall stain the Catty-Princess's eyes and fair cheeks.  It may appear that the Catty-Princess shall never recover from the selfish banshee's invasion, and so a spell must be found.  The Catty-Princess must be removed from the realm of the dragon. It is only outside this realm that the princess may once again visit her ponies and rainbows, but first, she must purge the banshee.  

With a torrent of wailing, punching, kicking, and screaming, the banshee is finally banished, and a change has come over the fair-warrior-princess.

A change of clothes that is.  The banshee was expelled,( in chunks, through the mouth and nose. She smelled an awful lot like hamburger soup...who knew?) and the Catty-Princess returned to the Dragon's realm, a humble, penitent servant.


The End.
dragon Pictures, Images and Photos

18 comments:

Brooke said...

Oh, my. What a story. I'm glad to know that I'm not the only one finding offensive really old food in my vehicle.

Lara said...

I hate it when my children are acting up, only to find out that they are really sick. Hope she feels better soon!

clan of the cave hair said...

Actually, I think she worked herself into such a tizzy he body didn't know what else to do other than throw up, she would have been perfectly happy if we'd allowed her to continue to run around and make a scene.

rachel said...

Wow- I think I have one of those catty princesses at my house!

Erin said...

I don't have a catty princESS, but we do have our fair share of wailing, punching, kicking, and screaming around here. Good luck!

The Wixom Zoo said...

Whew! I think the evil banshee has visited our realm a time or two...yuck!

Jillene said...

I have two of those princessed in my house. H is NOTORIOUS for working herself up to a throwing up frenzy. Good times.

Octamom said...

Yikes! Hope that the dragon has been banished for quite a while!!

Blessings!

So said...

We usually take our catty princess home and lock her in a tower until the banshee has been released.

Sorry to hear that it took such effort to release the banshee though. That's no fun.

I loved reading this.

Heatherlyn said...

Were you able to enjoy your evening at all? It's tough with kids to tell if they are sick or just being grumpy. Or if they cause themselves to become sick because they worked themselves up so much in their grumpiness. I'm glad she's feeling better!

Kristina P. said...

You are a great storyteller!

I hope she's OK!

2busy said...

Whew! Glad I'm passed that stage. But, little kids little problems, bigger kids bigger problems, as my mom always said.

the letter Bee said...

Once I found a fry on the floor of my car in the backseat. It had ketchup on it. And lint. I felt bad for it- being all alone back there for so long.

Chris said...

As a mom sitting home with a daughter with the flu, I could identify with this post!

Really funny! Glad it worked out for you!

Btw, this is my first time here and I love the name of your blog!!! :)

SalGal said...

You know what would really make this a good story, is if where you were was church.

Ahhh... the good ol' toddler days!

Motherboard said...

Your blog makes me happy!

CaJoh said...

Great story. Makes me want to delay my post on Elway Soup (which is Hamburger soup by the way).

clan of the cave hair said...

Thanks Sue, It makes me happy when I can make somebody else happy.
CaJoh...I've never heard it called Elway Soup before, and SalGal...you know I never even heard of Hamburger Soup until you fed it to me and my gals one night...right? So its ALl YOUR FAULT~!