The switch behind my left ear must have accidentally been turned to "harumph" mode.
I tried resetting the switch back to "hehehaha" mode, but it didn't stick. In consulting the owners manual I discovered that the switch may become broken in one of several circumstances, including-but not limited too-overflowing laundry baskets, head congestion, naughty children, dirty floors, too much TV, running out of hot-water, frizzy hair, and water-weight-gain. It may be compounded by too many late nights in a row and wake-you-up-screaming-nightmares.
Suggestions for repair include: rest, plenty of water, spinach, and a good laugh. These remedies are most effective when electronics are turned off. (ESPECIALLY alarm clocks.)