Wednesday, January 21, 2009

What to Expect When You're...

Having a Birthday...I don't know...apparently all kinds of crazy balloons and stuff. Go over to "Little Fish" (Life According too...I know you all know her) and leave her a witty-birthday message!

Now on to my original thought about expecting stuff, or rather stuff that I maybe wasn't really expecting...


You know that whole line of books that lets you in on the little secrets about motherhood that nobody told you? I will admit, I have not read each and every book, and the one that I did read, I didn't exactly read cover to cover, but I'm pretty sure they didn't cover the one thing somebody really should have told me.

Why did nobody explain to me that if I chose to have 4 children that sometime in my 30's I would realize that I had spent approximately 25% of my adult life cleaning up somebody else's steaming hot poo?

Of course, given the balance of things good to bad, I would still sign up for motherhood, but it really would have been nice to know in advance.

20 comments:

So said...

Hahaha! They don't tell you these things 1. because those books only think about people who are having one or two kids. 2. because even if they did tell us it wouldn't sink in or 3. because if they did tell us all that was involved maybe we would stop at one.

Those are my theories.

J. P. said...

well, if that were true, then there would be all kinds of people bankrolling the books to make sure we weren't so irresponsible to think it was a good idea to even have one child.

clan of the cave hair said...

dang it, JP was signed in again.

ramsam said...

Well, you would never read those books until after having a baby anyway, and by then it's too late!!!

Here's another thought- if you are a big sister (which I am) you more than likely can add another 10 years of changing diapers to that. I grew up in a family of 12, and I literally broke down one day to my husband crying...I told him "I don't think you understand how long I have been doing this!!!!"

clan of the cave hair said...

oh Ramona! That is not right! I am the big sister, but not by too many years, so I didn't do much sibling diaper changing.

Heatherlyn said...

What I wish that they would have told me is that your boobs never go back to being the same again. I still would have had kids, I just wouldn't have been so shocked one year later!

I am sooooo happy to be out of the diaper phase!!!!!

Erin said...

I know. When they are old enough to say, "I have a poopy diaper," it is time to potty train. But heck, even though my three year old goes in the toilet, I still have to wipe him. I'm starting to wonder if it ever ends.

Lara said...

The other part they don't tell us, is that we'll gladly do it anyway. Maybe that's why they don't tell us!

Kristina P. said...

Yeah, something I don't need to know. But, since I will have babies in my 30s, may it will only be like 20% of my life.

The Wixom Zoo said...

Choose to think, instead, of how long you went without having a period...that always cheers me up!

clan of the cave hair said...

but wixom, when balanced with what my periods were like after the 4th one ( I finally ended up having a surgery to lighten them up) it is of no consolation at all...its as if my boyd were trying to make up for it....ugh
TMI??? I'm sorry. Mothers always talk bodily functions, or else its not a party.

Jillene said...

YEAH--I have been changing poop for 10 years now. 10 freaking, stinkin' years!! My 3 year old still wants no part of it. I am ready to sell her to the zoo--that way she can just run around bare butted and poop where she pleases!!

Tink said...

ROFL. This post is too true to life! I think I've spent 75% of my life cleaning up after them, too.

Mina said...

What Heatherlyn said .... YEAH. No one told me that not only would my boobs never be the same shape, they'd SHRINK. Oh great, bigger tummy balanced with smaller boobs. Every woman's dream.

Nobody You Know said...

By the time I'm done with steaming hot poo it will have been about 12 straight years.

That's a whole lotta poo.

You should write a book and include that tidbit.

SalGal said...

I'm the oldest and I do not recall changing one diaper, ever! Ok, except for those of my own kids. Which, actually, I'm fairly certain my hubby has changed more of than me.

Lorie said...

Bwahahaha! yeah, Poo cleanup is definitely not listed in the benefits section of the job description!

the letter Bee said...

I don't think I was supposed to read this post. Hahaha

Happy birthday, btw!

clan of the cave hair said...

Its not that you weren't supposed to read this, its that now you KNOW! ;)

Melanie J said...

I'm so over poo right now. Steaming hot, dry and cakey, or otherwise. I weep for the potty training days but I have a one year old and plans for more, so I guess I better deal with it.